362 Comments

It’s interesting to see that women have a larger desire than man to shift their lives or perhaps they express it more. I’m a 69 years old man and shifted mine at 50. After many years of trials and errors I now settled in Tuscany where I finally found my true self. It’s never to late. Listen to your inner voice and never give up. I believe opportunities knock at your door all the time, because our subconscious or inner self attracts them. But most of the time we don’t open that door. Don’t be afraid to explore, be curious, live and allow yourself mistakes. And see what happens. Xo

Expand full comment

Read my newsletter of tomorrow for a Serendipitous Journey.

Expand full comment
author

Lovely! I couldn’t agree more!

Expand full comment
founding

I've been wanting to answer this because I think that the question one needs a yes to (or, in your formulation, no, it's not late -- double negtive equals an assent) when one chucks out one's previous existence (to some extent) without a clear idea, what for? to do what? is not "is it too late?" It's not a matter of time but capability. Do I have the resources to do this? is it in my character as I look back at my previous history to pull this kind of thing off. You did have this bank account to present when when one of the deep threats (no lodging for the nights) loomed large; also a respectable resume and presentability. LIminality can prompt very different emotions from wonder. Simone Weill says central to people, what they need is a deep sense of rootedness and its concomitant trust. Again one's past and history matters; not what was in you, but what was in those around you and how did they behave towards you and others (as far as you could tell).

Expand full comment

Never ever too late or too old to change.

Expand full comment

I've been changing my life many times, and I'm about to start all over again in a place where I know nobody. So, definitely, YES. It's never too late to live your dream.🥰

Expand full comment

So many 'yes' moments from me while reading this. Yes also to crafting it in a way that works for you and your life...it really is possible for all of us, just not all in the same way as each other

Expand full comment

I am in the midst of the churning vortex of thoughts, emotions, and feelings that I want to initiate a change. I'm 44, sending one child off to college, another entering high school and I'm entering the "who am I?" stage of my life. I take comfort in reading the thoughts of others that it's never too late. I only hope I can come full circle and feel that I'm truly living the authentic life I WANT to live.

Expand full comment

The idea of reinventing oneself at any age sounds appealing, but it's a pipe dream for those of us with debt and/or high living costs. Successful reinvention at midlife requires a certain amount of class privilege, which isn't available to everyone (or even most of us).

Expand full comment
Jul 28Liked by Anne Boyd

I guess I have always been a selfish person, I'm now 29 and I've always just done what felt right at the time.

Moved overseas at 20, home to care for my gran at 24, back to uni at 25 and now I'm thinking should I start a business?

But in saying all this it is so difficult to figure out what you actually want, there is so many influences in life trying to tell you what you want, it's hard to know what is you and what is someone else's desire.

Love this piece 🙏💕

Expand full comment
author

Ah, so true, Bea! There are strategies to figure out what is really YOU. For instance, what is the first thing that pops into your head when you hear the question, “What is it you really want to do with your life?” All of the voices you hear after that first one are not you. If you’re not hearing one voice loud and clear, journaling, journaling, journaling is the way to go. Just sitting with and examining what makes you happy, what brings you joy, what feels most important in life.

Expand full comment

Thank you Anne 💕

Expand full comment

I lost my husband @47. We were in business together. Life didn't stop for me to regroup and come out with swords drawn. It didn't even give me the time to grieve. Was in and out of depressive states. Just a lot happened and I got to 50. One leg popped, with the other leg not so sure if the right thing to was to follow suit. I struggled through the business. Still struggling but now at 53 with more clarity. I have had tremendous support. The confidence I lost when the rug was pulled beneath my feet has found its way back. I am regaining my endless possibilities vibes and life isn't too scary. I still wonder if I would be alone till the end... scary prospect but not stopping me from moving one step at a time. Sometimes I take two steps knowing that there is a destination and I intend to get there. I woke up one day and after a methodical processing of a thought, came up with the idea of writing a biography for a very famous family. I was scoffed at and I was also admired for having the audacity to dream. It doesn't feel like a dream. It feels as real as touching my skin. I wrote the epilogue and part of chapter one. I am trying to get connected to the family by the first week of August. It feels like fiction to me. But I don't see why not. I am excited about the whole idea and I will give it my best shot. I will probably need trusted informal readers to just go through as I go on. But the point is that I am going to go on, regardless. What just spoke to me through your post is that I AM AN AUDACIOUS WOMAN. In bits, I will tell my story. A tough one. Very resilient one dotted with Gods mercy and grace. Kept me standing in spite of me. Nice to be here!!!

Expand full comment

Hello dear Anne! I am 82 and although I have some physical limitations, I am basically healthy and strong. I have been functioning as a very active elder in a family of 5 — six before my husband died. I am part of the nonprofit my daughter and her husband run, homeschooler on occasion, and very close to my grandchildren. I have friends of many ages.

But now my four companions in the house are moving north for better schooling for the kids. I am looking forward to the solitude and peace of an empty house but of course looking for new outlets as well!!

Expand full comment
Jul 20Liked by Anne Boyd

Gosh, your piece was exactly what I needed to stumble on yet I'm very mych mired in the weds, bewildered. I'm turning 60 soon. My husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's at the beginning of the delightful year 2020 and finally, both of my boys are out on their own. There is 6 years difference between my husband and I. We both struggle to face reality of how his Parkinson's will shape our final years together. I ask myself, in occasion when I allow myself to sit quiet with my thoughts, what do I want? While still working, I know my time is coming to an end with my career as a teacher; my identity. What can I possibly do now?! That leaves me stuck and again, bewildered. I appreciate being able to read you and others. To see that one, I'm not actually selfish and to perhaps push me to sit with these questions more intently. To guide me to find a way; my way. Thank you!

Expand full comment
author

Yes, Wendy, it is absolutely not selfish to sit and focus on ourselves for a bit. And maybe we can inspire those around us to so for themselves as well! The world would be a better place, I’m convinced, if we all did.

Expand full comment

what a sense of freedom, to pair down your stuff and live an uncluttered life!! every time i travel i think, I could KEEP GOING. I could live out of this suitcase and move into the next apartment if it meant i get to see the world. (oh, and if i had unlimited funds to do so!)

I have big magic sitting on my bookshelf and am so ready to dive in.

Expand full comment

I lost my mom to ovarian cancer in 2018, and have made so many changes to my life since but recently decided to give writing and art a shot. My mom decided to pursue her passions in her late 40s but was gone at 51... I didn't want to start too late. So my newsletter is my way of giving it a shot. Thank you for this great read, and sharing about your brother's passing. I feel for you! 🌻

Expand full comment

I'm late to this thread. But this subject is so important to me. I'm 55 and I've been a solicitor and mediator all my working life and I've never felt the job fitted me. Or maybe I never fitted the job. I've now got the opportunity to start a PhD in creative writing in October and I am TERRIFIED. Financially it's a big risk to step away from well paid work and take my small pension early. I don't know if I'm up to it academically and emotionally the menopause is a constant battle. But if I don't try this now? X

Expand full comment

Congratulations Rebecca! I'm looking to do something similar. So far I've seen just MAs or MFAs. Where did you find a PhD in creative writing? Lots of luck with it!

Expand full comment

Where are you based? I'm in England and most of the universities have PhD programs in CŴ. My offer is from Lincoln.

Expand full comment

Thanks Rebecca. A blind spot on my part, I thought MFA was as far it went, but see several PhD programmes now. I'm in Ireland.

Expand full comment

Never too old to follow your bliss … ✈️

Expand full comment

I am so happy to have found your post. You are speaking to me. I am 42.5 and in a big transformative stage of re-inventing my life. I am in the pre-stages. And, your post made me realize that the changes I am making still involve looking after the needs of others. Thank you for your boldness and sharing your experience. This post has helped me tremendously.

Expand full comment