Another Wild Ride

What's been going on since my viral post two months ago

It’s been two months since I published “Two Years Ago I Quit My Life,” and a lot has happened since I wrote about the protracted limbo I’ve been in.

First, my life got even more chaotic for a while. Then stuff started to happen—good stuff, great stuff—like the stars finally got their shit together and aligned somehow.

It’s as if all of the signals that I’d been putting out into the universe were finally received, and the universe spat back to me (some of) what I’ve been longing for.

But it hasn’t been easy, and I’ve been more grateful than I can say to have so many of you out there cheering me on. Your likes (over 4,000 now on that post!) and comments kept me going as the roller coaster of my life felt like it might go off the rails completely. Thank you again!!

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First, Some Context

My life hasn’t always been like this. For the last few decades, it was mostly uneventful (except for occasional life-altering events like going through Hurricane Katrina and having a kid). The ordinary things filled my days, and occasionally something happened that was worth reporting to friends.

That all changed in the fall of 2020, when I got so sick that I had to quit everything, and over the following winter, as I determined that I needed to completely change my life.

Ever since then, it’s been a wild ride. Just ask my closest friends what it’s been like every time we talk on the phone. “Where are you now?” they ask. “What has been going on?” And every time, I have lots to tell. Too much.

I wanted big change, and with that has come uncertainty, instability, surprises, and a rollercoaster of emotions. The drama just keeps happening. It’s exhausting for them, I think, and it certainly is for me.

The last two months have been no exception.

Utter Chaos (Again)

It started the very next day after my “Two Years Ago” post went out. I woke up and learned that the apartment I was supposed to move into that day had been double-booked. For the first time in nearly two years of travel, I was stranded.

Fortunately, a friend was able to put me up until his daughter returned for the summer, which meant only about two weeks. But the pickings in Edinburgh were slim—and expensive, largely because the city has been phasing out short-term apartment rentals.

I began to consider that I would have to leave Edinburgh altogether. I had no plan and nowhere else to go.

Meanwhile, the comments on my post were growing. I got many recommendations for new places I should consider. I began to wonder if I should ditch Scotland and look for a place in Portugal or Italy. A friend was sending me listings from Mexico.

But after two years on the road, I had found the place I wanted to be. And I craved more stability in my life.

Starting over felt less like a new beginning. It felt like the end of a dream. And I wasn’t ready to let go of it.

A double rainbow over an ordinary Edinburgh street, on an ordinary gray day in June, with Salisbury Crags in the background.

Going for Broke

When I searched for apartments in Edinburgh, lots of long-term rentals popped up. They were so much cheaper, about half the price of short-term rentals. My friend encouraged me to go see one. It was a nice place, in an area I liked, with a view of trees across the road.

I talked to the letting agent, and he told me that my situation shouldn’t be a problem, since all leases in Scotland have to be month-to-month, by law. Not having a visa also wasn’t a big deal. In Scotland, landlords are not required to verify residency, as they are in England. And most apartments, like this one, come furnished.

It felt a little crazy, but I’ve heard of people having apartments in France or Italy that they live in part-time. So I put in an application. Although I wasn’t picked by the landlord, I began to hope that perhaps I could stay for a while in Edinburgh after all.

Over the next week, though, that initial flicker of hope began to fade. Some agency websites wouldn’t let me book a viewing without a UK phone number. Other agencies told me straight out that I needed a certain level of verifiable income; savings didn’t count. One woman on the phone was quite rude when she told me her agency would never rent to me.

I was being told no over and over again. It felt like the door to Scotland was slamming in my face.

Meanwhile, I was watching the likes on my post grow. The positive comments from readers all over the world buoyed me as I was approaching rock bottom. Then, I got a phone call.

The Stars Begin to Align

At one of the flats I’d seen, the landlady had been there, not just the letting agent. I had told her my story of quitting my life, starting over again, falling in love with Edinburgh, and having trouble finding a place to stay. It was the agent on the phone telling me the landlady had picked me to rent her apartment!

The next week was a tense one as I tried to jump through the various hoops the letting agency had established. But when it came down to it, the landlady was willing to bypass the bot system and communicate with me directly. I was able to show her proof of sufficient savings and sign the lease.

Two weeks after having nowhere to live, I moved into my new flat—a lovely place with 300-year-old fireplaces, views of leafy courtyards, and a bathtub (instead of a shower stall you can barely turn around in, which was the case in every other flat I saw).

It’s mostly furnished with everything I need (since it was initially set up as a short-term rental). But I did buy a few things. It felt strange to shop for bedding and a kitchen paraphernalia, after two years of living out of my suitcase.

Then two days after I moved in, Elizabeth Gilbert shared my post! And floods of new comments and likes came pouring in. It all felt so surreal. I was dancing all over my brand new apartment and thinking, finally my luck is starting to shift.

Meanwhile, my agent was getting ready to move on my memoir proposal. We had a flurry of back-and-forth revisions until she decided it was ready to go on submission. She sent it out, then found out a lot of editors were on vacation, so she decided to wait another week. But soon it would finally be out in the world.

The New Town of Edinburgh on an atypically sunny day.

A “Course” Correction

Sometime in the midst of all this chaos, I received an email from the University of Manchester notifying me that I had received a scholarship of some sort. And what did I do? Did I dance all over the apartment again?

No, I ignored it.

I was too distracted. Besides, I had received similar notifications from the other MA courses (programs) I had applied to, but the scholarships were so small they didn’t make much of a dent.

Becoming a student was Plan B after my failed attempt at applying for a Global Talent Visa. But I had decided I couldn’t afford the international fees, and I had no Plan C. I was drifting again and unsure how to move forward.

Now, I had an apartment, but still no visa. I was still drifting. I’d have to leave every few months and hope that, upon my return, border control wouldn’t flag me for coming and going too often. (The tourist visa rules for Americans are generous but vague.)

After a week or so, I was about to delete the email from Manchester but read it carefully this time and discovered that the scholarship (called a bursary) was substantial. It was nearly half of the tuition and fees!

Over the next week, I discussed the situation with friends, family, my financial planner, and a visa specialist. Everything seemed to fall into place. I could afford the course now, and I could stay in my Edinburgh apartment and commute once a week to Manchester.

I can’t fully describe the relief I felt. In the chaos of everything, my Meniere’s autoimmune disease symptoms had returned, like they did when I was running all over Italy earlier in the summer. My body was telling me to slow the f— down. And now I finally can!

A view of the church courtyard outside my window, with a wee vase of flowers I picked near Arthur’s Seat, a 20-minutre walk away.

What’s on the Horizon?

After a trip back to the US to get my UK student visa, I’ll be able to live in Scotland for up to three years. For the first year, I’ll be a full-time student again for the first time in almost 30 years. I’ll keep my apartment in Edinburgh and commute down to Manchester once a week, as many students and faculty do.

I’ll have a workshop and a class called “Forms of Fiction.” My tutors are all very accomplished writers, including the phenomenal Jeanette Winterson. I’m beyond excited at the prospect of working with her.

For the next two years, I’ll be eligible for a graduate visa, and I’ll be writing full-time, working on my novel.

And of course I will continue to write this newsletter. I will have so much to share as I embark on this new journey! And I look forward to writing more profiles of audacious women writers and artists to help inspire us in our own creative lives.

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I say that it felt like the stars began to align, but I’ve been working hard to put myself in this position. I took an online workshop and wrote and revised my fiction writing sample for my MA applications many times over. I applied for many scholarships and grants as well.

I have also worked incredibly hard writing a memoir about my first year of travel after quitting my life. To try to sell it, I needed a proposal, which I spent months writing and rewriting. It’s 113 pages long. I’m still waiting for the universe to respond to all of that effort. For now I’m practicing patience and exploring all of my options. I can’t wait to share it with you one day!

What are you putting out into the universe these days? What groundwork are you laying? What signals are you sending? What seeds are you planting?

They may take a while to flower, but I’m a firm believer that they will one day. They just might not look the way you expected them to. Or you may find some seeds taking root while others wither or just lie dormant, waiting for their time in the sun. We can control what we put out there, but we can’t always control what comes back to us in return—or when.

I look forward to reading your comments, as always!

Until next time,

Anne

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, please click on the heart at the bottom or the top of this email. It helps others discover Audacious Women, Creative Lives. And makes me super happy!