How Do We Get Unstuck?

Some Ideas and Opportunities

Dear Audacious Ones,

Do you ever feel stuck? It’s been a month now since I moved to Manchester, and I am stuck. I feel grounded, not in the positive way but in the sense of a pilot or an airplane prohibited from flying, or a kid being punished. My body has simply said, Stay put.

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Although the vertigo medication has been helping, I’m still struggling with severe fatigue, dizziness, brain fog, and a persistent headache that won’t go away. I can barely leave my apartment. When I do, I get overwhelmed. Last week I ran some errands and had vertigo when I got back home. After moving around and having no stable home for two and a half years, my body is saying, Enough!

So what am I doing about it, besides napping, treating myself with care, and feeling sorry for myself?

When we are stuck, we definitely need to take some time to just be. I’ve been meditating, journaling, taking stock, feeling grateful for what I have, and taking a mindfulness course. I’ve also been trying to listen—to myself, my heart, my body. What is that I need?

When life as we know it comes to a halt—or something inside of us won’t let us continue life as it currently exists—then we need to take stock, do the healing that we need to do, and we need to start to look for new ways of being.

An Invitation . . .

What if getting stuck is actually a gift? It certainly makes it impossible to carry on as usual. What can feel like a major roadblock is actually an opportunity. And not just in the sense that if you turn it around in your mind you can start to see it that way. Getting stuck is actually an opportunity, because it means life as you knew it is done—and now you are being invited into a new chapter. You simply HAVE to remake your life in order to move forward.

Many of us will try as hard as we can to get back to how things used to be. But if we’re smart, we’ll do the hard thing and move forward, because it’s only hard for now, and if we go backwards then we’ll only wind up here again in the not-so-distant future.

So how do we get unstuck? I’ve spoken before about “tiny experiments.” I picked that up from the book and coaching program Designing Your Life.

In my current situation, I’ve been educating myself about the ways that people heal chronic illness (when medical science just labels your symptoms and gives you a pill that is not, by a long shot, a cure). I’ve been doing tiny experiments, trying different approaches, and learning about the mind-body-soul relationship. (See some resources below.¹)

Three-four years ago, I did a bunch of research and healed myself so that I could embark on a new life, so I know that I can do it again. (Through meditation, journaling, therapy, and somatic healing, my Meniere’s Disease was basically in remission until this past fall.)

What I’m finding is that I’m being invited to go deeper than I did before, to really get to the core causes of my illness in earlier trauma. (And I find it so helpful to remember that trauma with a small “t” happens to all of us. Life is stressful, and the body is taking stock of it, even when our minds dismiss it.)

Remember that I chose the word DEEPER for the year? This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but it seems my psyche was prepping me for this!

How I Unstuck Myself from My Former Life

In an interview I did last summer, in the wake of my viral essay “Two Years Ago I Quit My Life,” I talked to the former BBC journalist

Laura Hearn

about how stuck I was in my “default life” and how I got unstuck. It’s a wide-ranging conversation about the different motivations and the paths I took to freeing myself.

At one point, Laura asked me if I was happier now (although my life is far from settled), because the big fear is that you will undergo a major upheaval and not actually be happier on the other end of it. I said “Hell yes!” Or something like that. I am absolutely happier!

In fact, I don’t know if it’s possible to set out to live a life more aligned with your true self and not be happier! No matter how hard it is!

It's Never Too Late

I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation—and the many other great interviews and episodes Laura has done. I think you will love her Flip It podcast—it’s on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and you can subscribe right here in Substack—because Laura believes “You can flip your life around for the better!” She has an inspiring story of her own to tell as well.

Getting Unstuck in Community

The Women’s Almanac will be starting next month, and I’m so excited to be a part of it—as both a facilitator and a participant. When I was going through my major transition, I really could have used something like this. I felt all on my own, and it was very lonely at times.

My friends were super supportive (thank you so much to my close friends who carried me through!), but they weren’t going through what I was. Do you feel like that too sometimes?

This program will allow a small group of women (max 16) to heal and grow together over a whole year, under the mentorship of 8 co-facilitators (including myself). The meetings will sync up with the rhythm of the earth's natural cycles and will provide wisdom from each of the guides, who will share their unique, deeply honed expertise on healing, creating, and awakening (including sex therapy, women's anthropology, intuitive wisdom through the Tarot, and more).

It has been my great pleasure to get to know some of these women already

If you're yearning to be held and healed by a wise community of women over the course of 12 months, please check out WomensAlmanac.com. This is a program I wish I had at an earlier stage of my journey. And I’m so glad to have it now—as the journey continues! Most of the other co-facilitators and I will be learning from each other as well. There are just a few spots left.

If you are curious about this, I encourage you to try out one of the two free taster sessions coming up—and/or hop on a discovery call with Michelle Titus. We call her Miche. She is the creator and owner of the amazing Cummari in Sicily (“cummari” is Sicilian for female friends who are like family :). She is also the brainchild of this amazing program, which will be all online. Plus there are plans to put together an in-person meet-up opportunity as well!

There are the two free taster sessions coming up:

Check out the Events page to sign up for one or both.

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Now it’s your turn! Have you been feeling stuck? Have you unstuck yourself? Have you found yourself happier after taking a leap out of feeling stuck?

Share with us in the comments and check out what others are saying, because there is ALWAYS inspiration and mutual support happening in the comments. Thank you for making it such an incredible space every week!

Until next time,

Anne

1. I have found all of the following helpful: Bessel van der Kolk, Gabor Maté, the book Childhood Disrupted, The Steady Coach, Nicole Sachs, and my current favorite, Sandy Newbigging.