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miki pfeffer's avatar

Living alone allows one to clean (or not) at will. Mostly, I do what I do for two reasons: I can't stand looking at the dust anymore; someone's coming to visit. I have few visitors so am glad to have the impetus to get moving. Otherwise, I do just what I want and answer to no one for what I do or do not do.Sweet bliss.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Yes! Sounds like bliss!

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Etta Madden's avatar

Wow! This letter resonates with me so much, as today I've had the longest day at my desk in what feels like days, and days, and days . . . due to holiday responsibilities. As you described your weariness, my heaviness weighed upon me, built up through years and years and years and years! In addition to the mid-life transition (which I noted on the survey), I'm excited to read more about women writers and also your tips for writers. Thank you for sharing so honestly, Anne!

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Thank you, Etta! Glad to hear what you’re interested in reading more about. And I’m glad you got some time at your desk today in the midst of all those responsibilities. I hope they continue to ease up for you!

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Taylor Walle's avatar

I would have selected all the categories in the poll! Very interested in all those topics.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Great! Thank you, Taylor. I’m glad to hear it.

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N.J. (Nancy) Mastro's avatar

I, too, would have selected all the categories in the poll. I'll read whatever you choose to write. I am thinking how odd it is... I've never met you in person, and likely never will, but I am always so interested in what you have to say, what next adventure you are on, your reflections and musings - all of it. I believe it shows how writing connects people and revealing our true selves is a bridge to friendship even across time and space. I suspect your readers see a little of themselves in you. I know I do. Thank you for your letters!

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Aww, thank you, Nancy! You’ve made my day. 😊 Hearing from readers like you is what I love most about writing my letters. ❤️

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miki pfeffer's avatar

Two more things on cleaning:

I do put things away as I use them, and I clean things as I see what needs it.

And I clean before I go on a trip, because I like to be welcomed by an orderly house.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

All great tips! Cleaning as you go is definitely the way to do it. I do that while I cook so there isn’t a huge pile of pans and dishes waiting for me afterwards.

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Kelly Turner's avatar

I found your newsletter at exactly the right time. Thank you!

As a Thanksgiving present to myself this year I sent my husband and kids to his parents’ house four days before I joined them. I stayed at home for my own writing retreat - no cooking!

Last night I had dinner with an old friend who feels it’s important to her, but not to her husband, that she cook tasty, novel meals. She shared that “it’s been a real luxury being married to someone who grew up on frozen pizza and bag salad.” I sent up a silent cheer for her MIL.

I recently stopped in Paris as an add on to a work trip to Zürich. I visited the American Library there. Love at first perusal. I will never miss another chance to visit similar libraries in other cities. Fun to see what they had on display, clean and free bathroom, cheap coffee. 😊

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Welcome, Kelly! It’s great to have you here. Love your DIY retreat at home with no one to cook for. Great idea!

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Veenita's avatar

I want to have my own home too. But with the rise of property prices abnormally I don't know if it's possible or not

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Hi Veenita! I have the same concern. I may end up renting once I settle down again. Temporary homes may simply be the best way forward for some of us. One thing I learned living in New Orleans for 23 years and enduring Hurricane Katrina, is that no home is permanent.

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Veenita's avatar

The last line is very profound. As someone who has lived in many places due to father's transferable job, I can feel that

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Alecia Stevens's avatar

This topic lights me up because I am an interior designer by trade, while now winding that down to spend more time writing. I love a home deeply. Even though Ive had many, moving often. I literally resonate with certain homes I’ve had. So for me, although I do write at home, it is a painful process to get started. I see too much in my environment that distracts me. I like beauty around me so any quirky mislaid thing and Im off to make it more pleasing. We now have a small apartment in Charleston, which makes it harder to maintain, so I often go to the most beautiful library around the corner- established in the 18th century here. There are friendly ghosts of literature swirling about, keeping me on task. It’s bliss. Thanks for the intriguing question! Do you miss having a personal/ private home? Or is the freedom the prize?

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Dita's avatar

It all depends on the mood of the day. Some days I just feel like escaping from the house. Not only the dust but the clutter it accumulates now that the house is an empty nest. Clutter lays eggs and they love spider webs and baby spiders I believe. But my old home also gives me a cozy feeling that I don't get anywhere and sometimes I can invite the muse goddess -- she doesn't mind the mess, I guess.

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Deborah Vass's avatar

Closing the back door and walking to my studio whenever I can is my saviour, it is a room of my own, if only at intervals! The quotes by Simone de Beauvoir resonated deeply. I last read it at university by must rearead it as I am certain that it will be entirely different now. Thank you for such a stimulating piece.

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