I’m having a blast reading Big Magic: Creative Living without Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert again. If you haven’t read it, or you have but it’s been a while, then go to the first chapter and read what she says about her friend who loves ice skating. (You can read the opening on google books.)
Imagine what it took for her friend, who had loved ice skating when she was young but stopped because she wasn’t going to be Michelle Kwan, to pick it up again in her forties. A voice inside told her it was absurd to be doing it at her age. She was embarrassed to be on the ice with a bunch of 9-year-olds. But she did it anyway, and she felt “alive and ageless” in a way she hadn’t felt in the rest of her life.
What, in your heart of hearts, is the one creative thing (loosely defined) you’d like to do, but the voice in your head is telling you not to? And where do you think that voice is coming from? Can you turn it off and give it a try anyway? I’d love to hear your answers.
For me it was singing. I loved singing as a kid and was in the choir at my church. Until one day the choir director pulled me aside and asked me not to sing so loudly because I was off-key. As you can imagine, that silenced me for decades. But I still enjoyed it, alone in the car. During my year of travel last year, during a longer stay in Edinburgh, I joined a Scottish singing group, and not only did I enjoy singing with the whole group every week, I also sang a song for the group, all on my own, without accompaniment! That is something I never could have imagined doing before. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t bad either. I plan to go back this fall and learn more Scottish tunes.
Now it’s your turn. I can’t wait to see your answers.
Until next Saturday,
Anne
P.S. If you’d like to read Big Magic with an amazing group of women, you can upgrade your subscription and join us.
For me, it was piano. I played for years as a child, never dreamt of doing anything professional with it. I just liked sitting down to play as I passed through the living room of my childhood home. Then I stopped as a junior in high school to focus on my SAT's and subsequently took a 30 year break before picking it up again as an adult, taking lessons from my son's teacher in Paris. It has been a beautiful unexpected joy.
I LOVE Big Magic. This post is inspiring me to re-read it!
I've always wanted to be a quilter - but I haven't done it because I feel like the process it would take to get there is huge, when I'm still learning some relatively basic sewing patterns. But, it's not about perfection - it's about process.
I came across something I had forgotten about in Big Magic this morning: Liz’s insistence that it is possible to have a cheerful, supportive, Two-Way relationship with your creativity! The world is not hostile to creativity — like nature, creativity loves us and wants to help us get along — as co-creators!!
I've been slowly pushing myself to do things that I have been afraid to do over the past few years. I think the next one will be travelling further afield. I was never afraid of going somewhere new when I was younger, but health issues, money issues, and lack of opportunities to do it have made me nervous as I've gotten older... I will get there though.
I must get rereading Big Magic! As always in a book group, I am behind!! lol
I just reread Big Magic! I love the story of her ice skating friend. For me it’s art - drawing, painting, being in the timelessness of creating. I started taking weekly art classes last year and it completely feeds my soul
I've always been artistic, but I was so busy working and trying to save a broken marriage. After I was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer in my 30s, I divorced him and found a better job. This freed me up to work on my passion: art. I now oil paint every week and showcase my art on my Substack. Art is thrilling for me, and I am completely blessed at following my dream -- to be an artist.
One thing I loved as a kid was dancing, particularly tap. Always wanted to try Irish step dancing as well. I may do it yet - it's not a matter of fear so much as "too many possibilities, too little time." As I get older I tend to want to focus a bit more. I know what I love and want to take action on those things.
Is it really fear? I'm not sure that's the right mindset whether it is or not but even if it is fear there's probably a good intuition for it that surpasses the society vs you dichotomy to justify the fear not being from your intuition. There are definitely better framings that don't seem like band-aids
It's not really that my inner voices are telling me not to pursue the many lovely creative interests I have, it's more a question of where do I steal time from one thing to devote it to something else? If I'm taking up the piano again after 40+ years, which I'm so keen to do, I'm essentially starting from scratch. When will I have time for lessons and practice? I was once nearly fluent in French and I want to dive back in to regain that ease with a language I love. But I also want to pick back up my Italian lessons. Play pétanque with my partner. Get my yoga teaching certification. So many things. And yet I'm already not writing enough and my novel-in-progress is clamoring for my attention. I just feel like I'm running out of time. :-O
And then there is my perfectionist self, my stern inner critic that tells me why bother starting something new unless I can be really great at it?
So true for me. There's just not enough time to do what I truly want to do. I can't wait till I retire next year! Write, garden, travel, maybe take up the piano.
Jane, I am counting down the days until I retire! All 2588 of them :-) Seriously, I'm delighted for you that you are so close to embracing your full freedom!
So much of what you have written, Julie, resonates with me. Actually several of my recent posts touch on these issues - having to say no to things we want to do, in order to do other things that we want to do even more.
I recently returned to playing the violin after a 30 year break. I had to google which strings a violin had! But... it is coming back to me, so it isn't really like starting from scratch. On my post 'Fiddling around' I have a small discussion with one of my subscribers about this.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do (and not do!)!
Thank you for the empathy and understanding, Emma. How delightful that you have found your way back to the violin. I wish you many blissful hours of practice!
Engaging and thought-provoking post, Anne. ☀️I'm pretty good at exploring my creative side but, of course, there are tons of creative things I'd still like to explore... as an amateur visual artist, I'd like to purchase a GIANT canvas and go wild with oil paints and then frame and sell the work of art. 🎨Like you, I'd also like to sing more and join a choir and learn to play the piano and guitar...🎹 Wow, you've really got me thinking now. 🙏
I feel pretty sad about my creative spirit having been dampened by my desire to be a traditionally published novelist. Every writing attempt feels so high-stakes, and so I avoid it. Even though I know that once I start conjuring up characters and their experiences I get so excited.
Love Big Magic, I think it’s time to read it again. And maybe The Artist’s Way!
Like Julie, I, too, am finding it difficult to keep up with the marketing and promotion of my books and the money it takes to do so while working a 50-hour week plus chores. My first novel and my first nonfiction book were both traditionally published. My second novel coming out this fall will be self-published, which is a whole other learning curve. No idea how well it will succeed, but I tell myself that it is good to try something new, even when I am scared. The cheering-me-on gallery of my husband, family, and friends helps on the dark days. Today was a sunny day. I revisited a story I had set aside years ago and loved my voice in it. I have been struggling to figure out what my elusive "voice" is and rereading my story today made my heart swell. This is it, I said to myself as I read a few chapters out loud. This raised my spirit to give me the courage to go back into my current WIP and complete a third edit pass which I had been avoiding. So, if you have gotten this far in my missive, I hope you can see that you, too, can find some sunshine on those days where you doubt yourself. Keep on keeping on! The world NEEDS your stories!!!
This is lovely, Tessa! And so what I need to hear as I slog through my WIP. What a wonderful experience to read a story you wrote and feel that way. So happy for you!
Candy, I want to acknowledge this. I am traditionally published and for me the promotion/marketing expectation did, in many ways, crush my creative spirit. I couldn't keep up, financially or emotionally, with those demands, so I stepped aside for many years. I'm tentatively stepping back in with a novel now on submission and another waiting in the wings- we'll see. Publishing is not for the faint of heart and I've been on a rollercoaster trying to decide if it's really for me... I wish you the greatest success!
Thank you for this post, Anne. This is such a lovely story and many more have appeared in the comments.
For me, it is writing. I've always wanted to write creatively since a kid, and showed some promise when I drafted a play at the age of eleven. Well, I've finally been able to realise my dreams, although time has passed and I'm in my sixties.
And I've recently completed a PhD in Creative Writing, which I've documented in my latest Substack post. This was a bit of a surprise - it was never on my radar as I left school at sixteen and started work at seventeen...
I think it takes a bit of courage, and bucket loads of confidence, to achieve a creative ambition, and if you don't do it... nOW!... it may never come to fruition. So, 'do it now' is all I can say!
The thesis was split into two parts: a book-length work of creative non-fiction (which I'm now hoping to get published on a commercial basis) and a twenty thousand word treatise on Place Writing. Very challenging, but it has really helped me develop my writing skills and opened up a whole new world for me.
Love Big Magic - carried the book everywhere with me like a talisman when I was commuting for work. Helped me realise I needed to escape the 9-5. Getting my mojo back after breaking my arm last year ice skating. First time I have broken a bone in my life - not bad for 61.
Oh no! That is a real hazard with ice skating, and why you won’t find me on the ice. I hope you have made your escape from the 9-5, or are in the process. I know it can take a while. :)
I miss going to clubs and dancing! I loved that in my 20s and 30s. Traveling in packs. Seeing live shows. Going to the dive bar on Sundays for salsa dancing. A club with a dj. Any music with dancing. This afternoon, I put on a truly nasty pop song--"Pony" by Ginuwine--and danced in my bedroom with my dog barking along with me as I tried to sing to him. Not quite the same at age 57 years old, but I'll take it. Gotta work in more dancing!
I love this so much Stacy! I can't think of anything I'd like less than going to a club, but I'm so glad for you that you are still dancing! I love other kinds of dancing, though, although my health has prevented me doing as much as I would like.
I really hope you get to go to back to some clubs and bars and to do all the dancing you want to do!!
Oh I love this! Yes to more dancing! (Sadly, the last time I danced at a concert, I somehow managed to hurt my knee and hobbled around for a week. I have an old injury. So that makes me worried about trying it again. But I can’t imagine not dancing ever again!)
I have a half-finished draft of AYA book that wants to be a graphic novel. Except that I don't really draw. So I am trying to get up the guts to try, knowing that what I see in my head and what I can produce on paper will be vastly, comically different.
Mine too! But I use whatever protection I need to (and am trying to figure out the cause. Vaginal hormones have been helping mine...). I am really enjoying folk dancing, when I feel well enough to do it!
For me it’s always been singing. My range is fairly large (not bragging.. just true). I sing from mezzo soprano to contralto. First alto being my sweet spot. The last chorus I auditioned for, after I moved far away from the group I had been in, was fairly small and tight knit. Before my audition, the director read what I had written about my history (instruments played, music studied, groups I had been in..). He played the piano. As I sang. We did scales, then I did some sight reading of harmony as he played the melody with chords. When I finished, he asked me to stay after the practice. He waited until most folks had left, just a handful of us left. I heard him offer parts to all three people ahead of me. My turn now. He said..” you have more musical experience than 95% of the people in this group, but we have no openings for altos. Would you sing tenor?”
I answered politely, “let me think about it” and never went back.
Someone once said to me, “If you’ve seriously thought about it and don’t at least try it, you’ll always regret it and wonder what might have been.” That has helped me to forge ahead in many situations.
I'd love to get back into creative writing and to start painting. I just need to motivate myself. As I kid I started horse riding lessons and I loved it. I couldn't take it further, though, as it was expensive. My parents said I could if I got better grades in maths, but sadly that didn't help my understanding of maths. I'd love to get back into conservation work, but due to chronic fatigue that's not really an option.
In school, I loved the English language and writing. I was the one who wrote creative short stories for fun and tied them all up with ribbon! But I was told there was no future in being a writer. I'm my 20s I was "guided" to take a business degree vs. English when I decided to go back to school because "there was a future in business but not writing." This was the early 90s when online writing wasn't a "thing" yet! Fast forward to my late 30s when I found myself living in the US (from the UK) and I started writing online as a way to promote my business. Fast forward again to today and I'm a traditionally published author, professional writer and editor, chief editor for an international journal, my creative writing is growing and I still have goals to complete that degree in English and writing one day even though I'm now in my 50s. Never give up on your dreams or allow others to dictate your "talents." Go with what your soul craves, even if it just begins small while you build on it.
Go for it! I dropped out of my English degree in my 20s (for a whole host of reasons), but completed it a few years ago in my 40s through the Open University. It is never too late!
Emma, that's awesome to hear! Just getting a few ducks in a row and then definitely considering it. Thank you for the support. It is good to hear from someone who has done it as I'm sure most people think I'm crazy to consider it 😂 But online degree study helps enormously these days.
It is not crazy in any way! And yes, getting your ducks in a row first is a good thing to do. I think I am finally learning to do that! Good luck with it!
Thanks for sharing this Sharon - it’s inspiring to see how this has worked out for you and makes me feel hopeful that it could for me. I too wrote stories for fun as a child and won an award for essay writing in senior school. When I was 13 my English teacher told me he thought I should write a book. I was steered away from the media and communications college course I wanted to do by someone with influence in my life back then, for reasons which I can see now, as an adult, were likely for his own benefit. Ultimately, I ended up taking a different course before falling in to a corporate job where I’ve remained in one role or another for nearly 30 years. Lately the urge to write again has been pulling at my sleeves and starting small is probably just the advice I need - that and maybe the encouragement of my old English teacher if I could find him! Good luck with the degree!
Rebecca, you should totally go for it! Yes, as an older adult we can see in hindsight how we are influenced as a younger adult when we don't have the experience or full knowledge to stand up for ourselves. I understand that mine was probably done out of concern "for the best for me" but as a society we put too much pressure and focus on corporate rather than creative pursuits. The world needs more creativity at the moment! I have less money than when I was doing corporate jobs too but so much happier. I have also seen friends burned out with corporate with health issues so it brings up the question as to why we do this to ourselves as a society?! I hope to pursue the degree in a few years time even if I will be a very mature student then! Good luck with your writing! Once you start, it'll flow 😊
That’s great, Lisa! You can find the first discussion thread (which I just sent out on Wednesday) on the home page. I’ll send out the next, for chapters 3-4, this Wednesday.
As I kid, I used to draw all the time. I bought all those fun "How to Draw" books for kids - dogs, flowers, animals, and so many more. I had a blast. I even did some pretty awesome pieces in high school. And then writing took over and I just...stopped. My skills are so rusty. I'm terrified to pick it up again because I would be so self-critical and judgmental.
Shaking off the shackles of a carefully crafted life - so appreciative of all that planning and structure brought with family raised, career capstoned .... it's time for "courage" and "abandon." I'm learning to write poetry - and no voice in my head will get in the way!!!!! Luckily, no voice is even trying.
I almost took surfing lessons when I was on a trip and without my family. I was 39–so young! (I have always been a stronger swimmer and know how to snow and water ski.) But I didn’t take the lessons and have always regretted it. Horseback riding lessons were always something I wanted to do as well. I can’t surf where I live now, but there are plenty of stables around, so perhaps I should set a goal of the riding lessons…
Etta, I loved all the Gidget movies in my teens and finally got to take a surfing lesson at age 40. My friend found her passion that day. But boy, did I hate it! Absolutely no real connection to your response, but that surfing lesson still brings back some memories. What about paddle-boarding? Have you tried that?
I love that you tried it and hated it. So much better than thinking that you are sure you would have loved it if only you’d been brave enough to try! Now there is space to discover something else that you actually DO love.
I'm planning to learn how to play the piano. My mom didn't allow me to take lessons when I was a kid because we didn't have enough money. Now at 52 I'm going to do it for myself. I also started ballet at 36. I learned it for a few years but again due to money shortage I could not continue in childhood. I did that for a dozen years. I'm a late bloomer but I don't let age limit me.
Louisa, I too couldn’t take piano as a kid because it was too expensive. Two years ago at age 47 a woman from church gave us a piano and o decided to take lessons. I’m now two years in and so happy with my progress. I feel happy just tinkering around on the piano.
How wonderful! I'm also going to restart by doing basic exercises. My body has changed and I know I don't want to subject to the extreme wear and tear it went through in my earlier training. I set up a ballet corner in my apartment and will start there with baby steps and Finis Jhings DVDs for adult students. Join me?
Throughout my life I’ve had close experiences with death and they’ve taught me that you should never ever wait to do something you want to do. You’re born alone and die alone. Other people’s opinions literally do not matter. It’s nice to see so many people embracing their creative joys, but also saddens me to think that errant criticism could steal so much of one’s joy, for so long.
Love this question and also enjoying facing creative fears.
Like many, I’m trying to right the wrongs of ‘advice’ given by well meaning people that art is for wasters (yes someone actually said that to me!) or that I could never make a living from it. So whilst the pivot art biz is still in dream/planning phase, I’m proud that I’ve taught myself to draw my beloved florals after thinking I couldn’t do it. More recently, I learnt to play the drums (something I was told girls don’t do 30 years ago when I wanted to learn!)
Currently my latest creative fear is around singing. I really want to get some lessons but keep putting it off because it feels mighty uncomfortable. Which tells me I need to do it!
Yes! These are all fabulous things to pursue now that you know those naysayers were wrong. Re: singing—you can go the 1-1 lesson route or join a choir. Singing with others is amazing! (And your voices kind of blend together so hitting each note right is less important. )
Ahh good idea, I think a choir might be first in the list. Just to get over that fear of singing out loud. It’s weird because I love karaoke but because it’s supposed to be bad, it doesn’t feel me with so fear 😂
Keep going! When I’m learning, I’m a fan of tracing the images. It’s a great way you can learn the forms and shapes of birds and flowers. Or even recreating some of your favourite artist work. Many great masters of old used to ‘copy’ other great masterpieces to learn about light and shadow and form etc. Experiment experiment experiment ! ❤️
So many I would love to dance more but my body not up to it currently. Yoga, singing in a choir. But drawing, painting, illustrating. I would love to learn how to draw!
There are so many things I’d like to do too! It’s hard to pick just one. But maybe one to start. Which would you like to do first? (Sounds like drawing. :)
I think for me it's drawing/art. I got a watercolour course but find it really difficult to settle down to do it - even though I do get totally absorbed when I do. I love art galleries but around actually doing art, I feel like someone who has her nose pressed up against the window of a shop that feels too exclusive to even go into. You know, those shops where they look you up and down and dismiss you. I love the idea of dance as well although my standard is pretty much Elaine in Seinfeld https://youtu.be/HQu_NLRvULM?si=mGpdH8pp43KyPrRH
I signed up for a watercolor course that will take place in the near future. I love watching the videos of people doing watercolors. The flow of colors. So soothing and lovely.
🤣 I know what you mean. I'm just now reading the chapter in Big Magic called "Permission." The basic message is that you don't need anyone's permission to do what you want to do. The whole book is a powerful read. Highly recommend!
For me at the moment it’s writing… but piano aspirations linger. I played piano when I was wee and promised my dad at 9 years old that I’d play him his favourite song by the time I was 21. My piano teacher died a year later on the eve of my grade 3 exam. I was so upset I didn’t want to play ever again. I wasn’t really a natural. At 20 years and 6 months old I decided to fulfil the promise I’d made my dad so I put an advert out on cafe notice boards and found an ambitious tutor who would teach me ONLY the tune - The Way It Is by Bruce Hornsby and the range. A rightly grade 8 level piece. I practiced every day at Edinburgh uni practice rooms (where I wasn’t a student!) We taught my fingers the necessary choreography, and my aunt bought me a piano for my birthday, which my dad knew nothing about. At my 21st party I snuck off to prepare for the secret performance and got someone to send dad through shortly after. Miraculously I managed to pull it off enough to bring my stoic dad to tears. However, 18 years on it’s still the only piece I can play and I’d like to change that😬
Wow—what a story! Clearly you are capable of great things when you set your mind to it. And perhaps having a deadline helps? 😊 I suppose the problem with a big goal is that once you have achieved it, you can lose your motivation.
Thanks Anne… I’m realising slowly with writing projects that I really need little goals and deadlines to work towards to prevent me drifting /losing confidence. thanks for igniting the inspiration with this thread !
Learning to play the piano as an adult is a deeply rewarding experience. Practice is more therapeutic and enjoyable rather than the chore it tends to be for kids taking lessons. You also feel SO proud of your progress because you’re more aware of how thoroughly you earned it. 😉 You can do it!
I’m hopefully getting my piano back in the next few months. It’s been in another house due to me moving around a lot and hopefully soon I’ll be able to reclaim it and start again! 🙏
I’m doing street dance! Started at 48, have always wanted to have lessons. I do it 1-2-1 and am working up to joining a class where no doubt I’ll be the oldest. My teacher is a blast and such an encouragement. This summer I’m buying myself a hoodie with her dance school name on the back and my name, as proof that - no matter how much of a beginner I am - I *am* a dancer.
This is fantastic! I am the same age as you and did a lot of dance when I was younger, including dabbling in street dance. I am more of a folk-type dancer these days (when my health allows)! lol
Yay! Now I'm wondering where you are doing the street dance, and if it is at the school I did it at (a very very long time ago!)?!
I was always more into ballet and, especially, national dance. In fact, remembering how much I loved national dance as a girl got me back into playing the violin and dancing.
I’m doing street dance! Started at 48, have always wanted to have lessons. I do it 1-2-1 and am working up to joining a class where no doubt I’ll be the oldest. My teacher is a blast and such an encouragement. This summer I’m buying myself a hoodie with her dance school name on the back and my name, as proof that - no matter how much of a beginner I am - I *am* a dancer.
My life s all been about creativity. I love dancing, singing, playing music, writing, taking photos… I have the opposite problem which I can’t possibly do them all at the same time 😅
I couldn’t sing as a child either — was asked to move my lips in the Christmas program!! But at 75 I decided to take piano lessons — and absolutely love them!! I don’t think I’ll ever be great, but now I can hear if a note is off!!
Write a screenplay. Write dozens of the things. 🫣 No idea what’s been stopping me besides fear of being terrible at it, but Substack is certainly helping already (one month in!) 🤗
Hi, Amy. Thanks for sharing about your fear. It is wonderful that you are moving forward with Substack. I've really appreciated posts like yours and this developing community for courage to write and be human together!
I think the top thing I'd like to do is solo travel. I do a little bit alreasy but I mean long trips to new places, knowing that I'll be lonely and adrift at times but will also feel that I'm immersed in a major creative act at other times.
I've done a ton of solo travel. It's amazing between the people you meet and the experiences you get to have. Yes, you may get a little lonely at times, but the rewards far outstrip any negatives in my book.
I was terrified the first time I did this, but quickly found it quite comfortable. A friend put her house up for rent and spent last year traveling the world solo, and loved it.
Oh my gosh I love this! I’ve just done a couple of years herbalism training and I would love to be able to draw plants. Botanical illustration is an amazing and hard-earned skill… it’s happening! So happy for you!
For me, it was piano. I played for years as a child, never dreamt of doing anything professional with it. I just liked sitting down to play as I passed through the living room of my childhood home. Then I stopped as a junior in high school to focus on my SAT's and subsequently took a 30 year break before picking it up again as an adult, taking lessons from my son's teacher in Paris. It has been a beautiful unexpected joy.
Beautiful! And I love that you are reconnecting with the piano in Paris!
I LOVE Big Magic. This post is inspiring me to re-read it!
I've always wanted to be a quilter - but I haven't done it because I feel like the process it would take to get there is huge, when I'm still learning some relatively basic sewing patterns. But, it's not about perfection - it's about process.
I am a life long quilter. :) if you need any support, let me know. I am happy to oblige.
I came across something I had forgotten about in Big Magic this morning: Liz’s insistence that it is possible to have a cheerful, supportive, Two-Way relationship with your creativity! The world is not hostile to creativity — like nature, creativity loves us and wants to help us get along — as co-creators!!
It’s a beautiful way of thinking about creativity!
I've been slowly pushing myself to do things that I have been afraid to do over the past few years. I think the next one will be travelling further afield. I was never afraid of going somewhere new when I was younger, but health issues, money issues, and lack of opportunities to do it have made me nervous as I've gotten older... I will get there though.
I must get rereading Big Magic! As always in a book group, I am behind!! lol
Writing my own music and singing it instead of just covers
I just reread Big Magic! I love the story of her ice skating friend. For me it’s art - drawing, painting, being in the timelessness of creating. I started taking weekly art classes last year and it completely feeds my soul
I've always been artistic, but I was so busy working and trying to save a broken marriage. After I was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer in my 30s, I divorced him and found a better job. This freed me up to work on my passion: art. I now oil paint every week and showcase my art on my Substack. Art is thrilling for me, and I am completely blessed at following my dream -- to be an artist.
One thing I loved as a kid was dancing, particularly tap. Always wanted to try Irish step dancing as well. I may do it yet - it's not a matter of fear so much as "too many possibilities, too little time." As I get older I tend to want to focus a bit more. I know what I love and want to take action on those things.
Is it really fear? I'm not sure that's the right mindset whether it is or not but even if it is fear there's probably a good intuition for it that surpasses the society vs you dichotomy to justify the fear not being from your intuition. There are definitely better framings that don't seem like band-aids
It's not really that my inner voices are telling me not to pursue the many lovely creative interests I have, it's more a question of where do I steal time from one thing to devote it to something else? If I'm taking up the piano again after 40+ years, which I'm so keen to do, I'm essentially starting from scratch. When will I have time for lessons and practice? I was once nearly fluent in French and I want to dive back in to regain that ease with a language I love. But I also want to pick back up my Italian lessons. Play pétanque with my partner. Get my yoga teaching certification. So many things. And yet I'm already not writing enough and my novel-in-progress is clamoring for my attention. I just feel like I'm running out of time. :-O
And then there is my perfectionist self, my stern inner critic that tells me why bother starting something new unless I can be really great at it?
So true for me. There's just not enough time to do what I truly want to do. I can't wait till I retire next year! Write, garden, travel, maybe take up the piano.
Jane, I am counting down the days until I retire! All 2588 of them :-) Seriously, I'm delighted for you that you are so close to embracing your full freedom!
Ha! For everything there is a season. Thanks for your delight.
So much of what you have written, Julie, resonates with me. Actually several of my recent posts touch on these issues - having to say no to things we want to do, in order to do other things that we want to do even more.
I recently returned to playing the violin after a 30 year break. I had to google which strings a violin had! But... it is coming back to me, so it isn't really like starting from scratch. On my post 'Fiddling around' I have a small discussion with one of my subscribers about this.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do (and not do!)!
Thank you for the empathy and understanding, Emma. How delightful that you have found your way back to the violin. I wish you many blissful hours of practice!
Thank you! I'm not sure my neighbours agree... lol
Ah, that inner perfectionist! It holds us back so much. But I know that feeling that there is just never enough time.
I love how E Gilbert addresses this in Big Magic (the perfectionist/inner critic), but that's a discussion to come!
Engaging and thought-provoking post, Anne. ☀️I'm pretty good at exploring my creative side but, of course, there are tons of creative things I'd still like to explore... as an amateur visual artist, I'd like to purchase a GIANT canvas and go wild with oil paints and then frame and sell the work of art. 🎨Like you, I'd also like to sing more and join a choir and learn to play the piano and guitar...🎹 Wow, you've really got me thinking now. 🙏
Wonderful! That is what I strive for more than anything. Keep thinking!
I feel pretty sad about my creative spirit having been dampened by my desire to be a traditionally published novelist. Every writing attempt feels so high-stakes, and so I avoid it. Even though I know that once I start conjuring up characters and their experiences I get so excited.
Love Big Magic, I think it’s time to read it again. And maybe The Artist’s Way!
Like Julie, I, too, am finding it difficult to keep up with the marketing and promotion of my books and the money it takes to do so while working a 50-hour week plus chores. My first novel and my first nonfiction book were both traditionally published. My second novel coming out this fall will be self-published, which is a whole other learning curve. No idea how well it will succeed, but I tell myself that it is good to try something new, even when I am scared. The cheering-me-on gallery of my husband, family, and friends helps on the dark days. Today was a sunny day. I revisited a story I had set aside years ago and loved my voice in it. I have been struggling to figure out what my elusive "voice" is and rereading my story today made my heart swell. This is it, I said to myself as I read a few chapters out loud. This raised my spirit to give me the courage to go back into my current WIP and complete a third edit pass which I had been avoiding. So, if you have gotten this far in my missive, I hope you can see that you, too, can find some sunshine on those days where you doubt yourself. Keep on keeping on! The world NEEDS your stories!!!
This is lovely, Tessa! And so what I need to hear as I slog through my WIP. What a wonderful experience to read a story you wrote and feel that way. So happy for you!
Candy, I want to acknowledge this. I am traditionally published and for me the promotion/marketing expectation did, in many ways, crush my creative spirit. I couldn't keep up, financially or emotionally, with those demands, so I stepped aside for many years. I'm tentatively stepping back in with a novel now on submission and another waiting in the wings- we'll see. Publishing is not for the faint of heart and I've been on a rollercoaster trying to decide if it's really for me... I wish you the greatest success!
Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s very eye-opening! I’m glad you’ve been continuing your writing. I hope all goes well with submission!
Thank you for this post, Anne. This is such a lovely story and many more have appeared in the comments.
For me, it is writing. I've always wanted to write creatively since a kid, and showed some promise when I drafted a play at the age of eleven. Well, I've finally been able to realise my dreams, although time has passed and I'm in my sixties.
And I've recently completed a PhD in Creative Writing, which I've documented in my latest Substack post. This was a bit of a surprise - it was never on my radar as I left school at sixteen and started work at seventeen...
I think it takes a bit of courage, and bucket loads of confidence, to achieve a creative ambition, and if you don't do it... nOW!... it may never come to fruition. So, 'do it now' is all I can say!
Lovely, Yasmin! Congratulations on completing your Ph.D. What did you do for your dissertation?
The thesis was split into two parts: a book-length work of creative non-fiction (which I'm now hoping to get published on a commercial basis) and a twenty thousand word treatise on Place Writing. Very challenging, but it has really helped me develop my writing skills and opened up a whole new world for me.
Wonderful! Best of luck with your publishing journey!
Love Big Magic - carried the book everywhere with me like a talisman when I was commuting for work. Helped me realise I needed to escape the 9-5. Getting my mojo back after breaking my arm last year ice skating. First time I have broken a bone in my life - not bad for 61.
Oh no! That is a real hazard with ice skating, and why you won’t find me on the ice. I hope you have made your escape from the 9-5, or are in the process. I know it can take a while. :)
I miss going to clubs and dancing! I loved that in my 20s and 30s. Traveling in packs. Seeing live shows. Going to the dive bar on Sundays for salsa dancing. A club with a dj. Any music with dancing. This afternoon, I put on a truly nasty pop song--"Pony" by Ginuwine--and danced in my bedroom with my dog barking along with me as I tried to sing to him. Not quite the same at age 57 years old, but I'll take it. Gotta work in more dancing!
I too dance alone at home, especially if I need to lift my mood.
I love this so much Stacy! I can't think of anything I'd like less than going to a club, but I'm so glad for you that you are still dancing! I love other kinds of dancing, though, although my health has prevented me doing as much as I would like.
I really hope you get to go to back to some clubs and bars and to do all the dancing you want to do!!
Oh I love this! Yes to more dancing! (Sadly, the last time I danced at a concert, I somehow managed to hurt my knee and hobbled around for a week. I have an old injury. So that makes me worried about trying it again. But I can’t imagine not dancing ever again!)
You can always sway!
dancing is such good fun, and good exercise. I do it alone too!
I have a half-finished draft of AYA book that wants to be a graphic novel. Except that I don't really draw. So I am trying to get up the guts to try, knowing that what I see in my head and what I can produce on paper will be vastly, comically different.
Have a go. It's yours to experiment with.
Could be interesting!! And fun!
I’ve been thinking about taking beginner tap-dancing lessons. There’s a Gene Kelly and Eleanor Powell inside of me, just yearning to break out. :)
I used to tap dance as a kid and loved it. I couldn't do it now, my bladder is too weak! OMG Did I just say that?
Mine too! But I use whatever protection I need to (and am trying to figure out the cause. Vaginal hormones have been helping mine...). I am really enjoying folk dancing, when I feel well enough to do it!
Oh I love this!
For me it’s always been singing. My range is fairly large (not bragging.. just true). I sing from mezzo soprano to contralto. First alto being my sweet spot. The last chorus I auditioned for, after I moved far away from the group I had been in, was fairly small and tight knit. Before my audition, the director read what I had written about my history (instruments played, music studied, groups I had been in..). He played the piano. As I sang. We did scales, then I did some sight reading of harmony as he played the melody with chords. When I finished, he asked me to stay after the practice. He waited until most folks had left, just a handful of us left. I heard him offer parts to all three people ahead of me. My turn now. He said..” you have more musical experience than 95% of the people in this group, but we have no openings for altos. Would you sing tenor?”
I answered politely, “let me think about it” and never went back.
That’s too bad. Singing is amazing and I hope you find it way back to it.
Drawing!
Someone once said to me, “If you’ve seriously thought about it and don’t at least try it, you’ll always regret it and wonder what might have been.” That has helped me to forge ahead in many situations.
I'd love to get back into creative writing and to start painting. I just need to motivate myself. As I kid I started horse riding lessons and I loved it. I couldn't take it further, though, as it was expensive. My parents said I could if I got better grades in maths, but sadly that didn't help my understanding of maths. I'd love to get back into conservation work, but due to chronic fatigue that's not really an option.
These all sound great! I hope you can bring them back into your life.
I guess I just have to drop ambition and do it anyway.
I've written some jazzy songs inspired by my Red Velvet Project and would love to get a jazz band to play them so I can sing with them.
What holds me back? I think others would consider it self indulgent. I also think it would be expensive but that's less of a barrier.
Are these good enough reasons to deny myself the pleasure of performing in this way.
No they are not so I am now working on a way to make it happen... :)
YES! I’d love to be there when it happens. You have an amazing voice!
In school, I loved the English language and writing. I was the one who wrote creative short stories for fun and tied them all up with ribbon! But I was told there was no future in being a writer. I'm my 20s I was "guided" to take a business degree vs. English when I decided to go back to school because "there was a future in business but not writing." This was the early 90s when online writing wasn't a "thing" yet! Fast forward to my late 30s when I found myself living in the US (from the UK) and I started writing online as a way to promote my business. Fast forward again to today and I'm a traditionally published author, professional writer and editor, chief editor for an international journal, my creative writing is growing and I still have goals to complete that degree in English and writing one day even though I'm now in my 50s. Never give up on your dreams or allow others to dictate your "talents." Go with what your soul craves, even if it just begins small while you build on it.
Go for it! I dropped out of my English degree in my 20s (for a whole host of reasons), but completed it a few years ago in my 40s through the Open University. It is never too late!
Emma, that's awesome to hear! Just getting a few ducks in a row and then definitely considering it. Thank you for the support. It is good to hear from someone who has done it as I'm sure most people think I'm crazy to consider it 😂 But online degree study helps enormously these days.
It is not crazy in any way! And yes, getting your ducks in a row first is a good thing to do. I think I am finally learning to do that! Good luck with it!
thank you! :)
This is so true because if there is even the tiniest 'will' there is definitely a 'way'.
Yes!! You summed it up in one sentence vs my essay, Ellis! 😊😂
Ha ha - there is nothing like a brief summary as far as I am concerned - they are all important in the world of ideas and images.
Thanks for sharing this Sharon - it’s inspiring to see how this has worked out for you and makes me feel hopeful that it could for me. I too wrote stories for fun as a child and won an award for essay writing in senior school. When I was 13 my English teacher told me he thought I should write a book. I was steered away from the media and communications college course I wanted to do by someone with influence in my life back then, for reasons which I can see now, as an adult, were likely for his own benefit. Ultimately, I ended up taking a different course before falling in to a corporate job where I’ve remained in one role or another for nearly 30 years. Lately the urge to write again has been pulling at my sleeves and starting small is probably just the advice I need - that and maybe the encouragement of my old English teacher if I could find him! Good luck with the degree!
Rebecca, you should totally go for it! Yes, as an older adult we can see in hindsight how we are influenced as a younger adult when we don't have the experience or full knowledge to stand up for ourselves. I understand that mine was probably done out of concern "for the best for me" but as a society we put too much pressure and focus on corporate rather than creative pursuits. The world needs more creativity at the moment! I have less money than when I was doing corporate jobs too but so much happier. I have also seen friends burned out with corporate with health issues so it brings up the question as to why we do this to ourselves as a society?! I hope to pursue the degree in a few years time even if I will be a very mature student then! Good luck with your writing! Once you start, it'll flow 😊
Wonderful! I love hearing stories like this!
🎶Singing & 💃🏼 Dancing 🩵
OOPS! I am not afraid of these 2 wonderful things- they are what make me alive again like the skating
On the journey ! Just sign up Anne. I also read the book but looking forward to reading it again with you all .
That’s great, Lisa! You can find the first discussion thread (which I just sent out on Wednesday) on the home page. I’ll send out the next, for chapters 3-4, this Wednesday.
As I kid, I used to draw all the time. I bought all those fun "How to Draw" books for kids - dogs, flowers, animals, and so many more. I had a blast. I even did some pretty awesome pieces in high school. And then writing took over and I just...stopped. My skills are so rusty. I'm terrified to pick it up again because I would be so self-critical and judgmental.
I feel like we put up those walls. We have to be good (excellent, perfect) at what we enjoy. Do it. Draw freely and without fear!
You're so right. Maybe I will give it a go again!
Yeah, we want to be good at something, at least enough to make it fun. If you feel the itch, you should give it a try.
I’ve waited my entire life for permission to live it. I stopped this summer.
I love this so much!!
Yay! I’ve stopped too. It feels fabulous!
Shaking off the shackles of a carefully crafted life - so appreciative of all that planning and structure brought with family raised, career capstoned .... it's time for "courage" and "abandon." I'm learning to write poetry - and no voice in my head will get in the way!!!!! Luckily, no voice is even trying.
This is wonderful to hear!!
I almost took surfing lessons when I was on a trip and without my family. I was 39–so young! (I have always been a stronger swimmer and know how to snow and water ski.) But I didn’t take the lessons and have always regretted it. Horseback riding lessons were always something I wanted to do as well. I can’t surf where I live now, but there are plenty of stables around, so perhaps I should set a goal of the riding lessons…
Etta, I loved all the Gidget movies in my teens and finally got to take a surfing lesson at age 40. My friend found her passion that day. But boy, did I hate it! Absolutely no real connection to your response, but that surfing lesson still brings back some memories. What about paddle-boarding? Have you tried that?
I love that you tried it and hated it. So much better than thinking that you are sure you would have loved it if only you’d been brave enough to try! Now there is space to discover something else that you actually DO love.
Hi! Yes! I did my first paddle boarding last summer!
I love it!
I'm planning to learn how to play the piano. My mom didn't allow me to take lessons when I was a kid because we didn't have enough money. Now at 52 I'm going to do it for myself. I also started ballet at 36. I learned it for a few years but again due to money shortage I could not continue in childhood. I did that for a dozen years. I'm a late bloomer but I don't let age limit me.
Louisa, I too couldn’t take piano as a kid because it was too expensive. Two years ago at age 47 a woman from church gave us a piano and o decided to take lessons. I’m now two years in and so happy with my progress. I feel happy just tinkering around on the piano.
Emily, I'm so happy for you. The gift of music we give ourselves is priceless!
There is so much joy in picking up those things we missed out when we were younger. We get another shot! Enjoy!
Yes, my motto is: "It's never too late!" I'm just starting to learn how to swim properly :-D
Ooh, that is something I need to do. Finally!
Hi, Louisa. I took my first ballet lessons a couple of years ago. Loved it! Can’t remember why I stopped. I need to get going again. I’m 62.
How wonderful! I'm also going to restart by doing basic exercises. My body has changed and I know I don't want to subject to the extreme wear and tear it went through in my earlier training. I set up a ballet corner in my apartment and will start there with baby steps and Finis Jhings DVDs for adult students. Join me?
Throughout my life I’ve had close experiences with death and they’ve taught me that you should never ever wait to do something you want to do. You’re born alone and die alone. Other people’s opinions literally do not matter. It’s nice to see so many people embracing their creative joys, but also saddens me to think that errant criticism could steal so much of one’s joy, for so long.
Thank you for this, Suzanne. I was so moved I had to post a Note about it!
Love this question and also enjoying facing creative fears.
Like many, I’m trying to right the wrongs of ‘advice’ given by well meaning people that art is for wasters (yes someone actually said that to me!) or that I could never make a living from it. So whilst the pivot art biz is still in dream/planning phase, I’m proud that I’ve taught myself to draw my beloved florals after thinking I couldn’t do it. More recently, I learnt to play the drums (something I was told girls don’t do 30 years ago when I wanted to learn!)
Currently my latest creative fear is around singing. I really want to get some lessons but keep putting it off because it feels mighty uncomfortable. Which tells me I need to do it!
Yes! These are all fabulous things to pursue now that you know those naysayers were wrong. Re: singing—you can go the 1-1 lesson route or join a choir. Singing with others is amazing! (And your voices kind of blend together so hitting each note right is less important. )
Ahh good idea, I think a choir might be first in the list. Just to get over that fear of singing out loud. It’s weird because I love karaoke but because it’s supposed to be bad, it doesn’t feel me with so fear 😂
I want to learn to draw birds and flowers. I just have to keep at it.
Keep going! When I’m learning, I’m a fan of tracing the images. It’s a great way you can learn the forms and shapes of birds and flowers. Or even recreating some of your favourite artist work. Many great masters of old used to ‘copy’ other great masterpieces to learn about light and shadow and form etc. Experiment experiment experiment ! ❤️
Thanks Georgie. Tracing is a great idea for getting started. I'll start there.
Great idea!!
I was the only girl drummer in band, from fifth grade through high school. I had a blast! So glad you decided to learn to play them.
It’s so therapeutic!
So many I would love to dance more but my body not up to it currently. Yoga, singing in a choir. But drawing, painting, illustrating. I would love to learn how to draw!
There are so many things I’d like to do too! It’s hard to pick just one. But maybe one to start. Which would you like to do first? (Sounds like drawing. :)
Yes it does doesn't it! 😁
I think for me it's drawing/art. I got a watercolour course but find it really difficult to settle down to do it - even though I do get totally absorbed when I do. I love art galleries but around actually doing art, I feel like someone who has her nose pressed up against the window of a shop that feels too exclusive to even go into. You know, those shops where they look you up and down and dismiss you. I love the idea of dance as well although my standard is pretty much Elaine in Seinfeld https://youtu.be/HQu_NLRvULM?si=mGpdH8pp43KyPrRH
I signed up for a watercolor course that will take place in the near future. I love watching the videos of people doing watercolors. The flow of colors. So soothing and lovely.
Love that metaphor of looking in the shop windows, nervous about the censure of the people within.
🤣 I know what you mean. I'm just now reading the chapter in Big Magic called "Permission." The basic message is that you don't need anyone's permission to do what you want to do. The whole book is a powerful read. Highly recommend!
I keep thinking about that chapter, too!
For me at the moment it’s writing… but piano aspirations linger. I played piano when I was wee and promised my dad at 9 years old that I’d play him his favourite song by the time I was 21. My piano teacher died a year later on the eve of my grade 3 exam. I was so upset I didn’t want to play ever again. I wasn’t really a natural. At 20 years and 6 months old I decided to fulfil the promise I’d made my dad so I put an advert out on cafe notice boards and found an ambitious tutor who would teach me ONLY the tune - The Way It Is by Bruce Hornsby and the range. A rightly grade 8 level piece. I practiced every day at Edinburgh uni practice rooms (where I wasn’t a student!) We taught my fingers the necessary choreography, and my aunt bought me a piano for my birthday, which my dad knew nothing about. At my 21st party I snuck off to prepare for the secret performance and got someone to send dad through shortly after. Miraculously I managed to pull it off enough to bring my stoic dad to tears. However, 18 years on it’s still the only piece I can play and I’d like to change that😬
What a great song to be able to play! Wow!
What an absolutely lovely story!
Wow—what a story! Clearly you are capable of great things when you set your mind to it. And perhaps having a deadline helps? 😊 I suppose the problem with a big goal is that once you have achieved it, you can lose your motivation.
Thanks Anne… I’m realising slowly with writing projects that I really need little goals and deadlines to work towards to prevent me drifting /losing confidence. thanks for igniting the inspiration with this thread !
Having a writing buddy, community, or coach can help with keeping you accountable! People to cheer you on, commiserate, share resources, etc.
Tiny goals work best these days for me, too.
Me too. Small steps.
Learning to play the piano as an adult is a deeply rewarding experience. Practice is more therapeutic and enjoyable rather than the chore it tends to be for kids taking lessons. You also feel SO proud of your progress because you’re more aware of how thoroughly you earned it. 😉 You can do it!
I’m hopefully getting my piano back in the next few months. It’s been in another house due to me moving around a lot and hopefully soon I’ll be able to reclaim it and start again! 🙏
Thanks Fiona. I’m feeling excited to tinkle some ivories again after these reflections
I’m doing street dance! Started at 48, have always wanted to have lessons. I do it 1-2-1 and am working up to joining a class where no doubt I’ll be the oldest. My teacher is a blast and such an encouragement. This summer I’m buying myself a hoodie with her dance school name on the back and my name, as proof that - no matter how much of a beginner I am - I *am* a dancer.
This is fantastic! I am the same age as you and did a lot of dance when I was younger, including dabbling in street dance. I am more of a folk-type dancer these days (when my health allows)! lol
Thanks Emma! Hooray for any kind of dancing! We are geographically near too - I’m in the countryside near Winchester 😊
Yay! Now I'm wondering where you are doing the street dance, and if it is at the school I did it at (a very very long time ago!)?!
I was always more into ballet and, especially, national dance. In fact, remembering how much I loved national dance as a girl got me back into playing the violin and dancing.
It’s a newer school - Sarker Danceworks - which was I believe part of Sally Stanyard’s school which is older I think.
Violin, how lovely! I don’t know anything much about national dance but would love to hear more 😊
Ah, I recognise the name Sally Standard (I think... my memory isn't that reliable!).
lol I don't know that you would say 'violin, how lovely!' if you heard me play! But, I'm having fun and that is the most important thing.
I might try to write something about dance, national dance and folk dance at some point...
I’m doing street dance! Started at 48, have always wanted to have lessons. I do it 1-2-1 and am working up to joining a class where no doubt I’ll be the oldest. My teacher is a blast and such an encouragement. This summer I’m buying myself a hoodie with her dance school name on the back and my name, as proof that - no matter how much of a beginner I am - I *am* a dancer.
Wow! This is amazing. I always wanted ti be a street dancer too!
You can do it! 🙌🏻
Wonderful! Great idea to start with 1-1 lessons!
For me it's finally attempting to write the novel that's been floating around in my head for since 2012.
My life s all been about creativity. I love dancing, singing, playing music, writing, taking photos… I have the opposite problem which I can’t possibly do them all at the same time 😅
I couldn’t sing as a child either — was asked to move my lips in the Christmas program!! But at 75 I decided to take piano lessons — and absolutely love them!! I don’t think I’ll ever be great, but now I can hear if a note is off!!
I love this so much! I don't have time to learn the piano at the moment (I'm currently re-learning to play the violin), but I would like to one day.
Reading this brought me so much joy!! So happy for you Susan 💚
Write a screenplay. Write dozens of the things. 🫣 No idea what’s been stopping me besides fear of being terrible at it, but Substack is certainly helping already (one month in!) 🤗
Hi, Amy. Thanks for sharing about your fear. It is wonderful that you are moving forward with Substack. I've really appreciated posts like yours and this developing community for courage to write and be human together!
I think the top thing I'd like to do is solo travel. I do a little bit alreasy but I mean long trips to new places, knowing that I'll be lonely and adrift at times but will also feel that I'm immersed in a major creative act at other times.
I've done a ton of solo travel. It's amazing between the people you meet and the experiences you get to have. Yes, you may get a little lonely at times, but the rewards far outstrip any negatives in my book.
Terri, I hope you do this!!
I was terrified the first time I did this, but quickly found it quite comfortable. A friend put her house up for rent and spent last year traveling the world solo, and loved it.
Solo travel is amazing. I did a post on it a while back. If you go to my homepage it’s in the Year of Travel category.
Anne, I am going to reread that post! Thanks for the reminder!
I've put in place something recently I call a 'challenge jar', inspired by Jen Butler (https://www.instagram.com/p/C0LDlwxoBTz/)
I have all of my scariest tasks written down in a little glass jar, on folded up pieces of paper, and I pull one out a day and commit to doing it...
It's really helping me, as yesterday me KNOWS the things which I really want to do, but today me is sometimes scared!!
One a day is going some. I'd love to know how you get on with this idea. I think it's great!!
I might write a follow up article about it, talk about how I've adapted it as I've used it, potentially ❤️
Definitely!
It’s a very cool idea 🤗🤗
I love that you are jumping into the Substack stream! The water is good. Come on in!
Great news. Call it out to the universe, it will respond, sometimes in surprising ways.
This is so wonderful! Congratulations!!!
Wow wow wow!!! Fantastic! Fingers and thumbs crossed that you get into the program !!
Wonderful, best of luck!
that is wonderful. Wonder if thee are any courses on Domestika/Udemy you could start on in the meantime?
Amazing, Fiona! Best of luck! I hope you get it.
Oh my gosh I love this! I’ve just done a couple of years herbalism training and I would love to be able to draw plants. Botanical illustration is an amazing and hard-earned skill… it’s happening! So happy for you!