It’s a lovely post. Maybe I can take baby steps like a day alone in San Francisco or so. I am afraid to hurt my husband’s feeling cutting him off from my travel plan. I also love to take solo walks
I liked your exploration of the artists way alongside solo travel in this post. I have travelled around the world alone and its my default way to travel to this day- the other versions require so much planning - alone you are agile and free. As its been 20 years now since I set out on my first solo trip I guess I kind of take it for granted that every woman - with the financial means - can also just step out on her own. It was surprised to read that there are still not so many women solo travelling. for me being alone has allowed more meeting of places and myself than had I been with someone. In my experience, it us a privilege to know the world. Its also not without its challenges.
It's wonderful to hear that solo travel has been your default for so many years! I bet you have had many incredible experiences. I look forward to many more years of it myself!
Hi Anne, I have a copy of the "St. Bride" painting on my living room wall. I bought it in Iona, Scotland. I made that trip alone. I'd never done anything like it before, and I was anxious. But once I arrived and began to negotiate the literal planes, trains, and automobiles (and ferries) it took me to get the island, I felt extremely proud of myself. My confidence increased tremendously. I would like to travel much more than I have, and your post here and others' experiences have helped me to realize that doing it alone really might be wonderful. I've traveled all over the US alone and love it, but I need to practice going to other countries solo as well:).
This is wonderful, Emily! I went to Iona twice (alone) last year and also felt proud for navigating all of the steps to get there. Being there was life-changing for me. I wish I could go back this summer.
I have travelled solo often - Australia, South America, Japan. I have no real aversion to having company but often when I want to go somewhere, no travel companions are available and going alone is the best option. I do think it makes you more approachable and I've met a variety of fascinating people when travelling alone that I may not otherwise have done had I been with a friend. I also think joining groups as a solo traveller is a great way to make connections. There's so much to gain from travel, however one experiences it.
Every summer I take a solo road trip home to visit friends and family in what usually ends up being a 5,000 mile journey. I love the time alone. It makes me feel so free. I don't do much in terms of sight seeing, but I like trying new routes. I have done other solo (flying) trips over the years to major U.S. cities, but I've always missed having someone as a companion. And I am a little afraid for safety. So I guess when it comes to sight-seeing or visiting places of interest, I prefer to have someone with me. The problem, however, is that when traveling with someone, you always have to negotiate where to go and how long to spend there, and you don't get much, if any, reflection time. This is where solo traveling would have many advantages.
I love the concept of the artist date and have tried so many times to incorporate it into my week. But now that I am retired, I live in a less vibrant, small community compared to the metro area I moved from. I feel very land-locked, and as a result, unhappy in that regard. I struggle to find places to visit on an artist date, so I rarely go. Sometimes a trip to the nearest bookstore and having a cup of coffee feels like a mini-retreat. So if anyone has suggestions about how to incorporate artist dates into living in small towns, I'd love to hear them.
Great points Nancy! I admire your long solo driving trips. That is something I wouldn’t feel safe doing alone in the US but in France I felt fine! And yes, artist dates are hard in small towns. Cafes and bookstores are always good. How about walks in nature? Are those accessible to you? Also just listening to music that is new or that you haven’t listened to in a while or watching a documentary can be an artist’s date, I think. It’s all about having new encounters with the world, which can happen at home too!
I think a lot on the times that I traveled to NYC for work in the past, and the thrill of being anonymous around so much life going on--it felt immersive, protective, and incredibly freeing. One of the best dates I ever had was solo for dinner and then a broadway show. I sat in a box and joined in with two other strangers who were also delighted, and it was the best, as I walked back to the hotel smiling and watching the nightlife in the city. I went to Scotland for grad school alone and it was a similar feeling--while I had flatmates, much of my daily wanderings and research was solo and it was incredibly fulfilling, to notice, to be aware, to be both part of and yet observer at the same time. It allows for daydreaming, which we get far too little of. I love thinking about those times, and appreciate so much what you are sharing and encouraging by writing about your own experience. 💜
I still haven’t read REBECCA. It’s past time. And what a fascinating painting by John Duncan. It looks like a collage. How is it that the wings protrude outside the frame?
Such a beautiful post, Anne. I ache to travel alone. When I went to Scotland last October, my daughter was with me, and though I loved having her, I also wanted to wander around alone, and soak it all in myself. I went to England on a solo trip in 2008 and after I conquered my anxiety of "OMG, I'm in a foreign country BY MYSELF," I had the absolute best time. I highly recommend solo traveling to every woman who desires it because it will teach you so much about yourself.
I also long to live abroad, to experience a different culture and a different country while exploring my creativity. I like to think I would be inspired in a way I'm simply not here, in the state I've lived my entire life. Of course my therapist often told me, "Wherever you go, there you are." So true, BUT, I'm a firm believer that place is crucially important to who we are. If I can experience life in a place my soul feels drawn to, who might I be? What might I accomplish? I'm looking forward to finding out.
I loved this, Anne. I found myself as a writer in the course of my own expat experience, and it changed the trajectory of my life. Thank you for this lovely piece.
My thoughts, sentiments, and experiences exactly! I felt like my year traveling was one long artist's date. My most transcendent experiences were when I was by myself.
Do transcendent experiences require being alone? I’m embarrassed to admit that I don’t always enjoy solo travel. Maybe because I already spend so much of my life alone. I get more transcendence from sharing observations and inspirations with those I love. I’ve been traveling alone a lot more this year and I find myself wishing certain people were there with me—my mom who studied botany would have loved the tulips in Amsterdam, my chic friend would have gushed at a British fashion exhibit, my nieces would have found the Christmas markets magical. I love “borrowing” other people’s enthusiasm and finding transcendence in their perspectives. I guess right now I’m craving community more than solitude. (blanket caveat: there are definitely some not great travel partners out there! Maybe it’s all about compatibility…)
I do feel the same, sharing while traveling has always been my priority I think, and that's because, to use your expression, I like borrowing enthusiasm as well, I think it adds a lot to the journey.
Nonetheless, I've found myself spending lot of time alone lately and I realized how great it is to have space for thoughts that weren't able to come out before.
I was so afraid I would have needed companionship that now is so freeing to understand that actually I don't, that is only a matter of choice.
There is much good to be said about having traveling companions. I actually have more fun when I have a companion, and it's great to be able to remember experiences with someone later in recollection. Some traveling companions make me braver, too. So I think it's important to have both solo travel and companion travel.
It’s a lovely post. Maybe I can take baby steps like a day alone in San Francisco or so. I am afraid to hurt my husband’s feeling cutting him off from my travel plan. I also love to take solo walks
Love Julia Cameron - I began reading a her books in my Twenties. Love the Artist Dates!
OH MY MY, I feel such a relief! I have felt this all my life, and as of late, with so many strange changes, this helps me understand myself better....
I liked your exploration of the artists way alongside solo travel in this post. I have travelled around the world alone and its my default way to travel to this day- the other versions require so much planning - alone you are agile and free. As its been 20 years now since I set out on my first solo trip I guess I kind of take it for granted that every woman - with the financial means - can also just step out on her own. It was surprised to read that there are still not so many women solo travelling. for me being alone has allowed more meeting of places and myself than had I been with someone. In my experience, it us a privilege to know the world. Its also not without its challenges.
It's wonderful to hear that solo travel has been your default for so many years! I bet you have had many incredible experiences. I look forward to many more years of it myself!
Hi Anne, I have a copy of the "St. Bride" painting on my living room wall. I bought it in Iona, Scotland. I made that trip alone. I'd never done anything like it before, and I was anxious. But once I arrived and began to negotiate the literal planes, trains, and automobiles (and ferries) it took me to get the island, I felt extremely proud of myself. My confidence increased tremendously. I would like to travel much more than I have, and your post here and others' experiences have helped me to realize that doing it alone really might be wonderful. I've traveled all over the US alone and love it, but I need to practice going to other countries solo as well:).
This is wonderful, Emily! I went to Iona twice (alone) last year and also felt proud for navigating all of the steps to get there. Being there was life-changing for me. I wish I could go back this summer.
I would love to return. It was such an epic trip, and also really transformative for me as well.
I have travelled solo often - Australia, South America, Japan. I have no real aversion to having company but often when I want to go somewhere, no travel companions are available and going alone is the best option. I do think it makes you more approachable and I've met a variety of fascinating people when travelling alone that I may not otherwise have done had I been with a friend. I also think joining groups as a solo traveller is a great way to make connections. There's so much to gain from travel, however one experiences it.
Agree with all of this, Laura! I’m glad I’ve had my solo adventures but joining a group is also wonderful.
Every summer I take a solo road trip home to visit friends and family in what usually ends up being a 5,000 mile journey. I love the time alone. It makes me feel so free. I don't do much in terms of sight seeing, but I like trying new routes. I have done other solo (flying) trips over the years to major U.S. cities, but I've always missed having someone as a companion. And I am a little afraid for safety. So I guess when it comes to sight-seeing or visiting places of interest, I prefer to have someone with me. The problem, however, is that when traveling with someone, you always have to negotiate where to go and how long to spend there, and you don't get much, if any, reflection time. This is where solo traveling would have many advantages.
I love the concept of the artist date and have tried so many times to incorporate it into my week. But now that I am retired, I live in a less vibrant, small community compared to the metro area I moved from. I feel very land-locked, and as a result, unhappy in that regard. I struggle to find places to visit on an artist date, so I rarely go. Sometimes a trip to the nearest bookstore and having a cup of coffee feels like a mini-retreat. So if anyone has suggestions about how to incorporate artist dates into living in small towns, I'd love to hear them.
Great points Nancy! I admire your long solo driving trips. That is something I wouldn’t feel safe doing alone in the US but in France I felt fine! And yes, artist dates are hard in small towns. Cafes and bookstores are always good. How about walks in nature? Are those accessible to you? Also just listening to music that is new or that you haven’t listened to in a while or watching a documentary can be an artist’s date, I think. It’s all about having new encounters with the world, which can happen at home too!
I think a lot on the times that I traveled to NYC for work in the past, and the thrill of being anonymous around so much life going on--it felt immersive, protective, and incredibly freeing. One of the best dates I ever had was solo for dinner and then a broadway show. I sat in a box and joined in with two other strangers who were also delighted, and it was the best, as I walked back to the hotel smiling and watching the nightlife in the city. I went to Scotland for grad school alone and it was a similar feeling--while I had flatmates, much of my daily wanderings and research was solo and it was incredibly fulfilling, to notice, to be aware, to be both part of and yet observer at the same time. It allows for daydreaming, which we get far too little of. I love thinking about those times, and appreciate so much what you are sharing and encouraging by writing about your own experience. 💜
Totally, agree Freya. I love wandering cities on my own. I always feel that I can do what I want, be what I want. The anonymity provides that.
I still haven’t read REBECCA. It’s past time. And what a fascinating painting by John Duncan. It looks like a collage. How is it that the wings protrude outside the frame?
That part of the frame is part of the picture, I believe. It’s a beautiful picture.
Such a beautiful post, Anne. I ache to travel alone. When I went to Scotland last October, my daughter was with me, and though I loved having her, I also wanted to wander around alone, and soak it all in myself. I went to England on a solo trip in 2008 and after I conquered my anxiety of "OMG, I'm in a foreign country BY MYSELF," I had the absolute best time. I highly recommend solo traveling to every woman who desires it because it will teach you so much about yourself.
I also long to live abroad, to experience a different culture and a different country while exploring my creativity. I like to think I would be inspired in a way I'm simply not here, in the state I've lived my entire life. Of course my therapist often told me, "Wherever you go, there you are." So true, BUT, I'm a firm believer that place is crucially important to who we are. If I can experience life in a place my soul feels drawn to, who might I be? What might I accomplish? I'm looking forward to finding out.
These are such lovely questions, Melissa! I look forward to seeing how you answer them.
I loved this, Anne. I found myself as a writer in the course of my own expat experience, and it changed the trajectory of my life. Thank you for this lovely piece.
You’re welcome! I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
Love that you've been exploring lesser-known parts of France!
What made you decide to visit Tours and Château de Villandry?
I was staying near there. I love exploring lesser-known places.
In addition, travel can allow us to look back at our own lives from a distance, the smallness of it. And, maybe, the grandeur.
Yes, lots of contemplation happening while over been on the road!
My thoughts, sentiments, and experiences exactly! I felt like my year traveling was one long artist's date. My most transcendent experiences were when I was by myself.
Lovely!
This is lovely, Ally! I agree.
Do transcendent experiences require being alone? I’m embarrassed to admit that I don’t always enjoy solo travel. Maybe because I already spend so much of my life alone. I get more transcendence from sharing observations and inspirations with those I love. I’ve been traveling alone a lot more this year and I find myself wishing certain people were there with me—my mom who studied botany would have loved the tulips in Amsterdam, my chic friend would have gushed at a British fashion exhibit, my nieces would have found the Christmas markets magical. I love “borrowing” other people’s enthusiasm and finding transcendence in their perspectives. I guess right now I’m craving community more than solitude. (blanket caveat: there are definitely some not great travel partners out there! Maybe it’s all about compatibility…)
I do feel the same, sharing while traveling has always been my priority I think, and that's because, to use your expression, I like borrowing enthusiasm as well, I think it adds a lot to the journey.
Nonetheless, I've found myself spending lot of time alone lately and I realized how great it is to have space for thoughts that weren't able to come out before.
I was so afraid I would have needed companionship that now is so freeing to understand that actually I don't, that is only a matter of choice.
Lovely, Chiara! Having the choice and feeling free to travel alone or in company is where it’s at!
There is much good to be said about having traveling companions. I actually have more fun when I have a companion, and it's great to be able to remember experiences with someone later in recollection. Some traveling companions make me braver, too. So I think it's important to have both solo travel and companion travel.
Yes, indeed!
Ooh yes I love traveling with someone that makes me braver—that’s the perfect way of describing it!