Hello all! Thanks to all who participated in our vibrant Meet and Greet discussion thread! You shared so many great reads by or about audacious women. My TBR list has mushroomed as a result. :) It’s not too late to join in, if you’d like. In fact, I think I’ll keep it open so as new members join, they can introduce themselves there as well. In the spirit of my last post, “Simone de Beauvoir and the Courage Women Writers Need,” I thought it would be fun to share some of our bold choices and desires here.
I love this later picture of Beauvoir. Doesn’t she look like she doesn’t give a f** anymore?
What move have you made in your life that felt bold or audacious, something that pushed beyond the boundaries of what seemed acceptable or expected or you? And/or what bold or audacious thing have you been wanting to do, and what has held you back so far? Imagine what it would feel like to articulate that desire and to share it with a supportive group! (And feel free to tell us where you’re writing from, so we can continue to get to know each other.)
Please also take a couple of minutes to read other responses and find at least two that speak to you or that you want to cheer on. I look forward to seeing you in the comments! (And I’ll get us started with my own response that question.)
My name is Stacy, and I am a historian by trade. I spent my 20s, 30s, and much of my 40s traveling about the world (well, Africa and Europe at least), and my bold move is to be okay with settling down in my 50s. I'm tired! I am working--with Anne as my developmental editor--on a book about Edith Wharton's engagement with a region that I am, for now, referring to as a vague Islamic East. The Greater Ottoman Sphere might also be useful in terms of thinking about the region. Hilary A. Hallett's recent book on Elinor Glyn, inventor of the It Girl, was an inspiring read. I remember my grandmother talking about Clara Bow's It Girl, and it was fun to see how that audacious female character came to be.
Thank you for sharing, Stacy! I love your bold move to settle down a bit after so much travel--and to write this major book! That is incredibly bold, as is the approach you’re taking. You have aimed high and gotten an incredible book contract! You’re an inspiration!
Anne's bold steps remind me of one I made when I was working. I was so miserable I was crying and decided I had to resign. Many good opportunities opened to me then and I was able to do many writing, editing, and management jobs that wouldn't come my way otherwise. My favorite was filling in for the manager of marketing for a national company while the person was on maternity leave. You can't see the beauty until you make the decision to leave the pain.
Hello, this is such a wonderful thread with so many encouraging and fantastic comments. Thank you Anne for creating this kind of space. I suppose I have made a kind of habit of doing whatever the next thing is that felt right as Anne said earlier. So I’ve moved a lot; I’ve left the conservative religious tradition that took up the first 35 years or so of my life; I’ve broken off relationships (as an absolute but necessary last resort) with family members who could not acknowledge passed abuse; I’ve done the work it takes (lots of courage) to heal from complex trauma; I left a graduate program in English Literature because it did not seem like a good fit, even with all the work I had already put in; I started writing consistently at 50, having wanted to do so most of my life (hence my newsletter); I’ve also started and maintain a couple of very small (as in just me) businesses. I would love to write a book someday. I would also love to travel more. Writing this list kind of surprised me. I have made choices over and over that aren’t comfortable but have also freed me and given me a self. The list gives me courage and reminds me that I can do other scary or difficult things. This group also is an incredible boost!
It's so nice to "meet" you on this group... It's never to late to write a book. I hope this dream comes true for you, and that you get to travel more. I've dabbled in creative writing my whole life and have books and short stories that never got past my computer storage drive. It wasn't until retirement that I had the time I felt I needed to devote to writing. Five years later I have a book soon to be published. Whether anyone thinks it's any good remains to be seen, but my point is that if the seed to write is there and you give it light and water, it will grow! Looking at your newsletter, I trust that this metaphor will germinate with you. (Okay, that last sentence is me being funny... but it's true, no?)
Yes, it's true, and funny:). Thanks so much Nancy for your encouragement. For me, writing has been directly tied to having a self and a voice, and I had neither for much of my life. Now, that I do, I find that I can write consistently. And my children are in the process of leaving the house, which also gives me more time to write. It's wonderful that you are having a book published!
Wow, Emily! This is wonderful! You have done so many brave, bold things. Recovering from trauma takes so much courage. It means facing the pain we’d rather avoid. And how fabulous that you have found your writing self at 50! Writing a book and traveling more are great gold ahead of you. Where would you like to go? What would you like to write?
Thank you Anne. I would not have thought that I was particularly brave. I've always just done the next thing that needed to be done. But, like I said, writing the list really helped me see the choices I have made a bit differently. I would possibly like to write a memoir, perhaps, a non-fiction book about intentional living/awareness. Currently, I want to expand my capacity and write longer form essays and experiment more with lyric essays in particular. I would love to travel just about anywhere. I've been to Scotland and Ireland, but that's it. I have a long list! Your traveling is an inspiration to me. The Cummari that you mentioned sounds wonderful. Right now, my partner and I are attempting to get three children through college, which means there is not a lot of money left over for travel. However, their are possibilities, and I look forward to traveling more.
I feel the same way, Emily, that I did not think of myself as brave but as simply doing what I needed to do. It's definitely worth pausing a realizing how brave we really are. I'm glad you are doing that! And that some (great, important) writing can/will come out of it!
I want to commit to a writing practice and write in more genres than the traditional scholarship that I've published. Ideally, I'd like to write about music, and write fiction. I have a couple of publishing possibilities for writing about music--I'm feeling equal parts excitement and complete reluctance to try writing about something that I care about so much.
Reluctance... that nasty word that dashes excitement. Sounds like you've a tussle inside. We all do, I suppose. What harm is there in trying out writing about music, or trying some fiction? The nice thing about writing is that e get to do it in private before we bare ourselves to the world. :)
That’s exciting! Writing about something you really care about is nerve-wracking, I know. It’s great to stretch our wings! And fiction, too. That feels like growing new wings to me as I try to write it. :)
I've done a lot things that were bold and audacious - to me. They maybe weren't bold or audacious to others, but they took me from a place of comfort and put me in the middle of uncertainty. A lot of them had to do with moving - to different states, out of relationships that weren't working, into jobs that would demand more of me... I've never regretted doing a single one of them. Somehow, they were meant to be. I more so regret things I didn't do... see my response to Etta for one such exampe - staying too long.
A bold thing I've been hesitating to do (remember, this would be bold for me, maybe not to someone else) is to start a newsletter. What frightens me is the commitment it requires. Time writing newsletters (and engaging through social media) is time not spent writing novels, which is the true creative work I seek. But a newsletter appeals to me for the engagement it can create with others while I do the creative work of writing a novel. Writing is lonely, and engagement, I have found, feeds my creative side.
I've been thinking about Substack, and I have a topic/schtick, etc., but I wonder if I can sustain it or if anyone else will be interested in what I am passionate about writing. Time will tell. Let's just say it's the muck I'm wading through right now. Anne's posts are such an inspiration to me, as are others I've started to follow on Substack or on other platforms. The amount of creative thought and reflection out there is mind-boggling. Thank goodness!
I like this Nancy. A decision that takes you from a place of comfort to a place of uncertainty is bold. It doesn’t need to look like someone else’s bold because each person experiences uncertainty and comfort differently.
Thank you, Emily. Anne's questions has us all thinking about things we don't often ponder. It's fun (usually) to think back on where we hav been bold - or not. There are regrets, to be sure, but there is no point holding on to them.
I have enjoyed having the outlet of Substack, and I have yet to commit to a regular publishing schedule. I likely will this fall--but for now, I'm just enjoying having an outlet.
Thank you, Monica, for the encouragement! I'm really debating the newsletter on Substack... it's the time thing, if you get what I mean. But I am drawn to the way Substanck allows for interaction. It's different than other outlets. And there seem to be more thoughtful readers, people who are looking for more than a scroll-through. I like the depth of what I find here.
Nancy, I agree completely with how frightening it can be to start a newsletter. I started blogging not quite 8 years ago, then stopped because it took so much time away from book writing, and I felt dismay about readers. Then I picked it up again, thanks to some coaching I received (support community is SO important). But I realized that often I felt COMPELLED to write something that wasn't part of a book, and the blogging, which morphed into a newsletter, really helped be give voice to those ideas and to get them out there--even to a small audience. The feedback has been super helpful. I hope you follow through on your dreams about the newsletter!
Thank you for the encouragement, Etta. Your newsletter looks wonderful, and I've signed up for it. The word COMPELLED is such a good word to describe the lure of starting a newsletter. I woke up this morning at 3:30 a.m., my mind buzzing with things I want to share and the connections I'd be thrilled to make. But I also know my propensity to overcommit. I'm trying to curb that. But I wonder if it isn't baked in by this time. Ha!
Thank you, Nancy, for sharing this. I absolutely agree that anything that takes you out of your comfort zone and into uncertainty is bold!! That is very well put. I know what you mean about starting a newsletter. I've felt all of the things you are feeling at various times along the way. My newsletter has changed and shifted so much over the years. It's gone dormant for a few months here and there. It's changed names twice now. And it's been on three different platforms! But the wonderful think about newsletters is that they are as much or as little of a committment as you want them to be. Yours doesn't have to be like other people's. And nothing is carved in stone. You can change your mind and shift gears, or try things out and see if you like them. (See my reply to Etta below about that.) Like these discussion threads. We're just trying it out to see if it feels right. So far, I'm enjoying it!!
Thanks, Anne. Yes, I agree with the impact of these discussion threads. They are so interesting. When I read the newsletters I find on Substack, yours especially, I am so motivated to put my musings out there. But I have been blogging for about three years about women represented in biofiction, and I feel like the work has gone largely unread. Maybe a platform like Substack would help give it some exposure. A lot of effort goes into putting it together, but it just hasn't gotten the steam I was looking for. Either way, I've had fun blogging, which I count as a win. If I did go with a newsletter, however, I would go a different route than I have with the blog. Time will tell! Thanks for the chance to noodle on it with others. :)
Having fun is key! Otherwise it's just another task we feel compelled to complete. And readers can tell when the writer's heart isn't in it. So have fun with it!
Hi, everyone, and Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone who celebrates!! I grew up in a very traditional Scotch-Irish family in the US south--conversative Protestants, I will add. That matters to this post--because I was fully, fully enculturated to put "man's" wishes and dreams first--whether father, husband, minister, teacher, coach, etc. Anyway, I've been married a long time (38.5 years now, but who's counting???) to a patient, kind, loving man. Throughout our marriage, I've taken many professional steps (as a literature professor) that sort of ignore his professional dreams and goals (he doesn't talk about those much). I took my first position halfway across the country from where he had been working for a decade, I've traveled far and frequently--to conferences, to teach abroad, etc--leaving him in charge of our two sons. My professional moves might not be considered bold to many people--but they shocked my parents and, sometimes, even myself. I know I have friends who say such decisions (by either spouse) would not work in their marriages.
Now, our sons are adults, I've left teaching, and I'm open to what's next. My husband is nowhere near ready to to "retire" from his profession. I'm trying to remain patient as I figure out what the next open door will be -- or what doors--plural--I want to see before me. I guess I need advice on how to keep alive the passion and energy I've had in the past as I move through this foggy phase. Advice?
Wow, Etta! I didn't realize how conservatively you were raised. And how audacious your career has seemed to your parents. Way to go!! And way to go marrying a man who doesn't expect you to take a back seat to his pursuits! :) As far as advice, I like Nancy's reply, and I'll add that while finding your "bliss" can seem dauthing--like how young people are told to find what they are "passionate" about--it doesn't have to be ONE BIG THING. It can be what feels right right now. One thing I've learned on this journey is to stop and ask myself at each step, how does this feel? Does this feel good? If so, I keep going in that direction. Check your own gut and listen to where it takes you--each little step. I wasn't sure for a while if I wanted to "be a writer." But I took a little step in that direction and it felt good and I kept going, and I'm still adding bits to it that feel right. I think living in tune with what your gut wants is the opposite of feeling in the fog, so to speak.
I, too, left education after decades, and I felt so free to do what I'd always wanted to do - write a book! I only wish I had been more "audacious" and left the profession a lot sooner than I did so I could have started writing earlier. You asked for advice... to borrow a phrase from Joseph Cambell, follow your bliss!
Here is a quote from Campbell during his interview with Bill Moyers many years ago: "If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are — if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time." (Source: https://www.themarginalian.org/2015/04/09/find-your-bliss-joseph-campbell-power-of-myth/)
What it means to me, and what I want to share with you, is that through reflection and creative work - whatever that is for you personally - your bliss will come, because it's been there all the time inside of you.
Happy trials and trails... I hope the fog lifts soon. :)
Thank you, Nancy, for passing along the quote from Joseph Campbell on Bill Moyers! Last year (right after leaving teaching), I set a personal goal of following my passions, and I feel I did that for the first year. Now I'm having less clarity about what "sparks joy" and having days that feel more driven by drudgery and duty. Ugh. So I need to concentrate on looking deeply, each day, to what the feelings are . . . and allow myself to dive into those.
Something that felt particularly bold and audacious to me was giving up tenure. I had wanted for years to find a saner career that allowed me to be more creative, but I was terribly afraid to make the leap. During the pandemic, though, my fears melted away in the face of stress-induced illness and burnout. I've heard before that when we don't make the changes we need to in our lives, our bodies will force us to change. That is what it took for me to finally cut myself loose.
Something that I'm dreaming of doing but that feels pretty audacious is write a novel. What a risk that is! The endless hours and hard work could turn out to be for nothing. So many novels are never published. If I'm being honest, though, what is truly audacious about this is that I want to write something important, something that pushes against what is expected from a novel. Do I have the courage to do that? I'm not sure yet. But Simone makes me want to try.
I think you were very bold and audacious giving up your tenure. That's whay I admire you so! I have no doubt we will see a novel from you. You will publish one, I'll wager, because you are persistent. I sense you are afraid of wasting time on a novel that "sits in a drawer" somewhere. I would offer a reminder that it's okay to write a novel or two that a) doesn't get finished; or b) doesnt' get published. Or one that you publish even if it doesn't turn exactly how you imagined. You know this, I'm sure. I've come to accept that those experiences are part of the path a novelist must walk. If your first try at a novel doesn't pan out as you hope, it doesn't mean you have failed. It means you took a step toward the one that eventually hits the mark, the one that "pushes against what is expected from a novel." You're young. You have time.
Thank you, Nancy! This is a great reminder. I do know this, but I forget. But I've committed to doing it and spending as much time as I need to get it done.
Sharon! This is all wonderful! Window washer fluid can feel like such a finicky thing to do.
I have learned to both be brave and admit my limits when it comes to driving. Much of my adult life, I lived where there was good public transportation. Now where I live, it might as well not exist. I am not good at remembering directions (I don't have depth perception, and I think that makes it harder for me to visualize where things are spacially), and so just driving to the library feels like an accomplishment, still. And while I drive myself the two hours from Macon to Athens every few months for professional development things or to go to concerts or plays, I've realized that driving in Atlanta just scares me too much to do it. If there's something I really want or need to do there, I'll take the shuttle there and then the train around town.
Sharon, I had NO IDEA about your husband and your recent triumphs! I was already impressed by your novels, but I didn't know there are 9 already and a 10th on the way to publication. Wow!! So impressive, and I agree that boldness really varies from person to person. It's all relative, and I'm glad Anne has invited us to celebrate each other's actions here. Hooray!
Not small at all, Sharon! These are all amazing! I can't believe you're on novel 10!! That is some serious boldness. And all of the things you mention doing now that Ron is no longer with you sound brave and bold me to as well--especially biking and cross country skiing. I've gotten quite timid about biking since a bike crash I had in 2017. I wish I wasn't. But I feel so much safer with both my feet on the ground. Thank you for sharing with us, Sharon. These are so inspiring!
Congratulations on nine novels. Wow! Write on! I can't imagine writing more than three. If you're 80, then that means another dozen are in you, right? Kudos to you! (PS: I love to cross country ski but I live in SC now, and I hate that there's no snow. When I say this to people they look at me as if I have sprouted three heads.)
My name is Stacy, and I am a historian by trade. I spent my 20s, 30s, and much of my 40s traveling about the world (well, Africa and Europe at least), and my bold move is to be okay with settling down in my 50s. I'm tired! I am working--with Anne as my developmental editor--on a book about Edith Wharton's engagement with a region that I am, for now, referring to as a vague Islamic East. The Greater Ottoman Sphere might also be useful in terms of thinking about the region. Hilary A. Hallett's recent book on Elinor Glyn, inventor of the It Girl, was an inspiring read. I remember my grandmother talking about Clara Bow's It Girl, and it was fun to see how that audacious female character came to be.
Thank you for sharing, Stacy! I love your bold move to settle down a bit after so much travel--and to write this major book! That is incredibly bold, as is the approach you’re taking. You have aimed high and gotten an incredible book contract! You’re an inspiration!
Anne's bold steps remind me of one I made when I was working. I was so miserable I was crying and decided I had to resign. Many good opportunities opened to me then and I was able to do many writing, editing, and management jobs that wouldn't come my way otherwise. My favorite was filling in for the manager of marketing for a national company while the person was on maternity leave. You can't see the beauty until you make the decision to leave the pain.
Love this, Beverly—“You can’t see the beauty until you decide to leave the pain”
So true! I’m glad you got out of there.
Hello, this is such a wonderful thread with so many encouraging and fantastic comments. Thank you Anne for creating this kind of space. I suppose I have made a kind of habit of doing whatever the next thing is that felt right as Anne said earlier. So I’ve moved a lot; I’ve left the conservative religious tradition that took up the first 35 years or so of my life; I’ve broken off relationships (as an absolute but necessary last resort) with family members who could not acknowledge passed abuse; I’ve done the work it takes (lots of courage) to heal from complex trauma; I left a graduate program in English Literature because it did not seem like a good fit, even with all the work I had already put in; I started writing consistently at 50, having wanted to do so most of my life (hence my newsletter); I’ve also started and maintain a couple of very small (as in just me) businesses. I would love to write a book someday. I would also love to travel more. Writing this list kind of surprised me. I have made choices over and over that aren’t comfortable but have also freed me and given me a self. The list gives me courage and reminds me that I can do other scary or difficult things. This group also is an incredible boost!
It's so nice to "meet" you on this group... It's never to late to write a book. I hope this dream comes true for you, and that you get to travel more. I've dabbled in creative writing my whole life and have books and short stories that never got past my computer storage drive. It wasn't until retirement that I had the time I felt I needed to devote to writing. Five years later I have a book soon to be published. Whether anyone thinks it's any good remains to be seen, but my point is that if the seed to write is there and you give it light and water, it will grow! Looking at your newsletter, I trust that this metaphor will germinate with you. (Okay, that last sentence is me being funny... but it's true, no?)
Yes, it's true, and funny:). Thanks so much Nancy for your encouragement. For me, writing has been directly tied to having a self and a voice, and I had neither for much of my life. Now, that I do, I find that I can write consistently. And my children are in the process of leaving the house, which also gives me more time to write. It's wonderful that you are having a book published!
Wow, Emily! This is wonderful! You have done so many brave, bold things. Recovering from trauma takes so much courage. It means facing the pain we’d rather avoid. And how fabulous that you have found your writing self at 50! Writing a book and traveling more are great gold ahead of you. Where would you like to go? What would you like to write?
Thank you Anne. I would not have thought that I was particularly brave. I've always just done the next thing that needed to be done. But, like I said, writing the list really helped me see the choices I have made a bit differently. I would possibly like to write a memoir, perhaps, a non-fiction book about intentional living/awareness. Currently, I want to expand my capacity and write longer form essays and experiment more with lyric essays in particular. I would love to travel just about anywhere. I've been to Scotland and Ireland, but that's it. I have a long list! Your traveling is an inspiration to me. The Cummari that you mentioned sounds wonderful. Right now, my partner and I are attempting to get three children through college, which means there is not a lot of money left over for travel. However, their are possibilities, and I look forward to traveling more.
I feel the same way, Emily, that I did not think of myself as brave but as simply doing what I needed to do. It's definitely worth pausing a realizing how brave we really are. I'm glad you are doing that! And that some (great, important) writing can/will come out of it!
Yes, it is. Thanks again for providing space for us all to do that. I hope so!
I want to commit to a writing practice and write in more genres than the traditional scholarship that I've published. Ideally, I'd like to write about music, and write fiction. I have a couple of publishing possibilities for writing about music--I'm feeling equal parts excitement and complete reluctance to try writing about something that I care about so much.
Reluctance... that nasty word that dashes excitement. Sounds like you've a tussle inside. We all do, I suppose. What harm is there in trying out writing about music, or trying some fiction? The nice thing about writing is that e get to do it in private before we bare ourselves to the world. :)
Thank you for identifying that! I don’t use the word reluctant often, I realize.
Today’s spring break day is dedicated to just what you suggest!
That’s exciting! Writing about something you really care about is nerve-wracking, I know. It’s great to stretch our wings! And fiction, too. That feels like growing new wings to me as I try to write it. :)
I've done a lot things that were bold and audacious - to me. They maybe weren't bold or audacious to others, but they took me from a place of comfort and put me in the middle of uncertainty. A lot of them had to do with moving - to different states, out of relationships that weren't working, into jobs that would demand more of me... I've never regretted doing a single one of them. Somehow, they were meant to be. I more so regret things I didn't do... see my response to Etta for one such exampe - staying too long.
A bold thing I've been hesitating to do (remember, this would be bold for me, maybe not to someone else) is to start a newsletter. What frightens me is the commitment it requires. Time writing newsletters (and engaging through social media) is time not spent writing novels, which is the true creative work I seek. But a newsletter appeals to me for the engagement it can create with others while I do the creative work of writing a novel. Writing is lonely, and engagement, I have found, feeds my creative side.
I've been thinking about Substack, and I have a topic/schtick, etc., but I wonder if I can sustain it or if anyone else will be interested in what I am passionate about writing. Time will tell. Let's just say it's the muck I'm wading through right now. Anne's posts are such an inspiration to me, as are others I've started to follow on Substack or on other platforms. The amount of creative thought and reflection out there is mind-boggling. Thank goodness!
I like this Nancy. A decision that takes you from a place of comfort to a place of uncertainty is bold. It doesn’t need to look like someone else’s bold because each person experiences uncertainty and comfort differently.
Thank you, Emily. Anne's questions has us all thinking about things we don't often ponder. It's fun (usually) to think back on where we hav been bold - or not. There are regrets, to be sure, but there is no point holding on to them.
I agree, yes. It's not always easy to look back, but it can also be really helpful and even fun, as you say!
I have enjoyed having the outlet of Substack, and I have yet to commit to a regular publishing schedule. I likely will this fall--but for now, I'm just enjoying having an outlet.
(and if you start one, I will totally read it).
Thank you, Monica, for the encouragement! I'm really debating the newsletter on Substack... it's the time thing, if you get what I mean. But I am drawn to the way Substanck allows for interaction. It's different than other outlets. And there seem to be more thoughtful readers, people who are looking for more than a scroll-through. I like the depth of what I find here.
Nancy, I agree completely with how frightening it can be to start a newsletter. I started blogging not quite 8 years ago, then stopped because it took so much time away from book writing, and I felt dismay about readers. Then I picked it up again, thanks to some coaching I received (support community is SO important). But I realized that often I felt COMPELLED to write something that wasn't part of a book, and the blogging, which morphed into a newsletter, really helped be give voice to those ideas and to get them out there--even to a small audience. The feedback has been super helpful. I hope you follow through on your dreams about the newsletter!
Thank you for the encouragement, Etta. Your newsletter looks wonderful, and I've signed up for it. The word COMPELLED is such a good word to describe the lure of starting a newsletter. I woke up this morning at 3:30 a.m., my mind buzzing with things I want to share and the connections I'd be thrilled to make. But I also know my propensity to overcommit. I'm trying to curb that. But I wonder if it isn't baked in by this time. Ha!
Hooray! The first step is often the toughest!
Thank you, Nancy, for sharing this. I absolutely agree that anything that takes you out of your comfort zone and into uncertainty is bold!! That is very well put. I know what you mean about starting a newsletter. I've felt all of the things you are feeling at various times along the way. My newsletter has changed and shifted so much over the years. It's gone dormant for a few months here and there. It's changed names twice now. And it's been on three different platforms! But the wonderful think about newsletters is that they are as much or as little of a committment as you want them to be. Yours doesn't have to be like other people's. And nothing is carved in stone. You can change your mind and shift gears, or try things out and see if you like them. (See my reply to Etta below about that.) Like these discussion threads. We're just trying it out to see if it feels right. So far, I'm enjoying it!!
Thanks, Anne. Yes, I agree with the impact of these discussion threads. They are so interesting. When I read the newsletters I find on Substack, yours especially, I am so motivated to put my musings out there. But I have been blogging for about three years about women represented in biofiction, and I feel like the work has gone largely unread. Maybe a platform like Substack would help give it some exposure. A lot of effort goes into putting it together, but it just hasn't gotten the steam I was looking for. Either way, I've had fun blogging, which I count as a win. If I did go with a newsletter, however, I would go a different route than I have with the blog. Time will tell! Thanks for the chance to noodle on it with others. :)
Having fun is key! Otherwise it's just another task we feel compelled to complete. And readers can tell when the writer's heart isn't in it. So have fun with it!
Hi, everyone, and Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone who celebrates!! I grew up in a very traditional Scotch-Irish family in the US south--conversative Protestants, I will add. That matters to this post--because I was fully, fully enculturated to put "man's" wishes and dreams first--whether father, husband, minister, teacher, coach, etc. Anyway, I've been married a long time (38.5 years now, but who's counting???) to a patient, kind, loving man. Throughout our marriage, I've taken many professional steps (as a literature professor) that sort of ignore his professional dreams and goals (he doesn't talk about those much). I took my first position halfway across the country from where he had been working for a decade, I've traveled far and frequently--to conferences, to teach abroad, etc--leaving him in charge of our two sons. My professional moves might not be considered bold to many people--but they shocked my parents and, sometimes, even myself. I know I have friends who say such decisions (by either spouse) would not work in their marriages.
Now, our sons are adults, I've left teaching, and I'm open to what's next. My husband is nowhere near ready to to "retire" from his profession. I'm trying to remain patient as I figure out what the next open door will be -- or what doors--plural--I want to see before me. I guess I need advice on how to keep alive the passion and energy I've had in the past as I move through this foggy phase. Advice?
Wow, Etta! I didn't realize how conservatively you were raised. And how audacious your career has seemed to your parents. Way to go!! And way to go marrying a man who doesn't expect you to take a back seat to his pursuits! :) As far as advice, I like Nancy's reply, and I'll add that while finding your "bliss" can seem dauthing--like how young people are told to find what they are "passionate" about--it doesn't have to be ONE BIG THING. It can be what feels right right now. One thing I've learned on this journey is to stop and ask myself at each step, how does this feel? Does this feel good? If so, I keep going in that direction. Check your own gut and listen to where it takes you--each little step. I wasn't sure for a while if I wanted to "be a writer." But I took a little step in that direction and it felt good and I kept going, and I'm still adding bits to it that feel right. I think living in tune with what your gut wants is the opposite of feeling in the fog, so to speak.
Thank you for reminding me that it doesn't have to be ONE BIG THING! That's so helpful, Anne!
I, too, left education after decades, and I felt so free to do what I'd always wanted to do - write a book! I only wish I had been more "audacious" and left the profession a lot sooner than I did so I could have started writing earlier. You asked for advice... to borrow a phrase from Joseph Cambell, follow your bliss!
Here is a quote from Campbell during his interview with Bill Moyers many years ago: "If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are — if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time." (Source: https://www.themarginalian.org/2015/04/09/find-your-bliss-joseph-campbell-power-of-myth/)
What it means to me, and what I want to share with you, is that through reflection and creative work - whatever that is for you personally - your bliss will come, because it's been there all the time inside of you.
Happy trials and trails... I hope the fog lifts soon. :)
Thank you, Nancy, for passing along the quote from Joseph Campbell on Bill Moyers! Last year (right after leaving teaching), I set a personal goal of following my passions, and I feel I did that for the first year. Now I'm having less clarity about what "sparks joy" and having days that feel more driven by drudgery and duty. Ugh. So I need to concentrate on looking deeply, each day, to what the feelings are . . . and allow myself to dive into those.
Something that felt particularly bold and audacious to me was giving up tenure. I had wanted for years to find a saner career that allowed me to be more creative, but I was terribly afraid to make the leap. During the pandemic, though, my fears melted away in the face of stress-induced illness and burnout. I've heard before that when we don't make the changes we need to in our lives, our bodies will force us to change. That is what it took for me to finally cut myself loose.
Something that I'm dreaming of doing but that feels pretty audacious is write a novel. What a risk that is! The endless hours and hard work could turn out to be for nothing. So many novels are never published. If I'm being honest, though, what is truly audacious about this is that I want to write something important, something that pushes against what is expected from a novel. Do I have the courage to do that? I'm not sure yet. But Simone makes me want to try.
I think you were very bold and audacious giving up your tenure. That's whay I admire you so! I have no doubt we will see a novel from you. You will publish one, I'll wager, because you are persistent. I sense you are afraid of wasting time on a novel that "sits in a drawer" somewhere. I would offer a reminder that it's okay to write a novel or two that a) doesn't get finished; or b) doesnt' get published. Or one that you publish even if it doesn't turn exactly how you imagined. You know this, I'm sure. I've come to accept that those experiences are part of the path a novelist must walk. If your first try at a novel doesn't pan out as you hope, it doesn't mean you have failed. It means you took a step toward the one that eventually hits the mark, the one that "pushes against what is expected from a novel." You're young. You have time.
Nancy, this is beautifully put and such a great reminder for all of us.
Thank you for commenting. I love how Anne gives us so much to think about and all the interactions that follow among the, well, followers!
I agree, Nancy! Anne is such an inspiration to so many of us.
Thank you, Nancy! This is a great reminder. I do know this, but I forget. But I've committed to doing it and spending as much time as I need to get it done.
This is wonderful Sharon! Such a full life and one chosen over and over it sounds like. Thank you.
Sharon! This is all wonderful! Window washer fluid can feel like such a finicky thing to do.
I have learned to both be brave and admit my limits when it comes to driving. Much of my adult life, I lived where there was good public transportation. Now where I live, it might as well not exist. I am not good at remembering directions (I don't have depth perception, and I think that makes it harder for me to visualize where things are spacially), and so just driving to the library feels like an accomplishment, still. And while I drive myself the two hours from Macon to Athens every few months for professional development things or to go to concerts or plays, I've realized that driving in Atlanta just scares me too much to do it. If there's something I really want or need to do there, I'll take the shuttle there and then the train around town.
Sharon, I had NO IDEA about your husband and your recent triumphs! I was already impressed by your novels, but I didn't know there are 9 already and a 10th on the way to publication. Wow!! So impressive, and I agree that boldness really varies from person to person. It's all relative, and I'm glad Anne has invited us to celebrate each other's actions here. Hooray!
I can't wait to see you both in Venice! Good luck getting your water on, Sharon.
Not small at all, Sharon! These are all amazing! I can't believe you're on novel 10!! That is some serious boldness. And all of the things you mention doing now that Ron is no longer with you sound brave and bold me to as well--especially biking and cross country skiing. I've gotten quite timid about biking since a bike crash I had in 2017. I wish I wasn't. But I feel so much safer with both my feet on the ground. Thank you for sharing with us, Sharon. These are so inspiring!
Congratulations on nine novels. Wow! Write on! I can't imagine writing more than three. If you're 80, then that means another dozen are in you, right? Kudos to you! (PS: I love to cross country ski but I live in SC now, and I hate that there's no snow. When I say this to people they look at me as if I have sprouted three heads.)