I’ve yearning for a dog after losing mine (abruptly, to a pony kick) a year ago. My highest yearning is love - and lots of it. I’m blessed with man and kids and even new grandkids. But a dog is love made mobile - and profoundly, constantly reciprocal. We just found her, Tigger, today. Love on …
I want a life situated in Scotland, writing books for women, reading, walking in nature, practicing aromatherapy, herbal medicine, and yoga and listening to my favorite music. That would be perfect! Perfect should be whatever is, but I can dream.
Anne, I so appreciated your inquiries & reflections here & have been thinking about it a lot. Like you, I am ‘working my way through layers of old unhealed wounds—detoxing, essentially, a life’s worth of toxic beliefs.’ That’s hard, exhausting but powerful and rewarding work. Like you as well, I am venturing on this path (which I’ve been on for some time) as a way to heal myself of the pain & lack of mobility that has resulted from a back injury in late Feb, diagnosed with a MRI with degenerative disc disease in various ways: slipped discs, spondylitis, stenosis of the spinal canal. What I have come to believe, and have written about in my own essay published today, is that while the pain is not in my head, the solution is not in my body. Do you know the mind-body work of Nicole Sachs, a student of Dr. John Sarno? I read her recent Mind Your Body book and am applying her approach. It will require going very deep into journaling about past and current stressors and my personality traits. But I feel prepared, and sense the answer for me is not in medication, injections, chiropractic treatment & certainly not surgery. As for my heart’s highest hope I love that question, and agree that the answer lies within us. My heart’s highest hope is to live in gratitude and peaceful acceptance of my life just as it is. That is also my biggest challenge. I am a huge seeker. A big dreamer. A non-stop do-er and fixer when anyone calls on me to help them. My dearest dream is to publish a novel (I am trying with my 3rd novel, while working on the 4th). Or publish an essay in a literary journal. But then I come back to my heart’s highest hope: to live in grateful acceptance of what is. Regardless of whether I publish, I am a writer. I am a creative. A woman, mother, friend, sister. I am loved and love in return. That’s really all that matters.💗
So beautiful, Amy! Yes, those are the things that truly matter. In Little Women, when Beth is dying, she tells Jo that it’s love and family you can take with you, not success and ambition. Those things fall away when we are confronted with our mortality. Or with chronic pain and loss of quality of life. Our body is a barometer, Sandy Newbigging says. It is telling us what we need to work on. I have encountered Nicole Sachs’s work. I would like to read her new book. I hope you find lots of healing with her method!
This is such a great question, Anne--and I really appreciate your question, "What is the inner state or feeling that you think doing that thing or moving to that place will give you? Do you have to wait for it, or can you access it now?"
I'm glad that I'm answering this today, because yesterday, I had a pretty ideal day. I did serious work in my garden for a few hours, planting new plants and doing serious tidying up. (My garden is a small apartment balcony--I think I get more enjoyment per square foot than any other gardener.) I then sat and read a book of poetry, wrote, and drew. Last night, I watched PBS Masterpiece shows and wrote a letter to a friend.
My heart's desire is more time immersed in creative work (especially writing, but also music, drawing, gardening) and connection/community. Last weekend, I spent the night with a friend, and we spent the evening making Gelli prints. That was another ideal time--both connection and immersion in art.
Immersion comes up again and again for me--I love being immersed in an activity, being in a state of flow or connection.
What do I want? Less “work” (the work that pays the bills and provides health insurance) and more “work” on writing, creating, and helping/caring for my parents and their farm. I want that contented feeling that I sometimes have to be more consistent.
My heart's highest hope is for good health for my husband and myself as we age together. Dependency is a feeling that paralyses me, so I'm hoping for health and strength and freedom from dementia (the real fear). And then (because there's always a hierarchy of needs) I hope we can remain solvent enough to live our lives with interest and enjoyment and pay for good help if/when we need it; followed by the ability to cultivate younger friends so that all our acquaintances don't die off at once!
What do I (still) want from life? Morbid as it sounds, over the past year I’ve started to wonder how much time I have left. And I am driven by the notion of not waiting anymore, not putting anything off for later “when I am retired” or “when my son is out of the house” or even “when my spouse retires.”
I am only turning 60 this year, have chronic health conditions and a wonky immune system. My dearest wish is that my body stays healthy for a long time, and that I have the strength, energy, and mobility to be able to do what makes me happy.
Yes, I wish that as well. 55 here, but sometimes my body acts like it’s much older! There is so much healing we can do internally that helps the physical body as well. I’ll write more about that as my journey continues. Here’s to not waiting anymore!
Anne, this is a provocative topic. Thanks for the question. I have two desires at this point in my life. 1) I want to begun my cancer treatment and feel more confidence in what my body can do. Slowly, over the last year, I have had to slow down. I don’t like it! I am told that I will feel better once I start a BTK inhibitor. Can’t wait. 2) I recently finished a collection of short stories. I am now waiting for a new writing project to elicit passion in me. That’s when I have been happiest in my life. When I feel passionate about a particular subject or setting.
I’m so glad to hear that you will have more energy once the treatment starts. That is good news! And passion for a new project is exactly what I wish for you. THat is what is grounding me and bringing me so much satisfaction right now as well.
Hi Claire--I think we can also feel paralyzed by conflicting voices inside of us--like our head is telling us one thing and our heart another, or external opinions are in conflict with our own internal sense of things. Paralysis can also be a sign that our autonomic nervous system is in freeze. I wrote about this a few weeks ago. So some breathing and exercises to stimulate the vagus nerve could help you find a more peaceful state and perhaps some clarity. I hope so!
Claire, a friend once said to me: Choice is the affliction of our era. He was recognizing that if we are privileged, we have so many choices that it can paralyze us.
Hi Anne, I told you after your last post, which really touched me, that I needed some time to respond. And I never did. As you know, we get pulled into other emotional / intellectual / domestic whirlpools and can't quite find our way back or out. So, that's kind of what happened. But, Your post = the last one = really did send me off in a particular direction around grief, especially the healing nature of grief. And I've been writing and communicating with other Substack friends here on that topic. So this grief thing....I guess it relates to what I most want as I sit here at 71 years old . I have spent a lifetime STRIVING. Exactly what you described here - though I was never in the New York Times - I didn't ever have that level of recognition in my work as a designer. But I had appreciation for my work - I was always a bit "under the radar" and since I created that situation I have to assume that's the way I wanted it. I have been published in national and international magazines and that was nice at the time. But now, I'm so over that - it's a lot of work I don't have the interest in now, except for creating my own home here in Italy.
In fact, this home that we just moved into full time in February is a life long dream. We are out in the countryside, the most beautiful views of Tuscany. The freshest air, the most incredible food and simple, beautiful life. I told my therapist that I now have everything I have ever wanted. There is no STRIVING. I have things I want to do because creativity is my nature. Like breathing. I can't wake up and not want to create. Whether its a meal or a poem or a sketch or sewing something or just having an amazing conversation with my husband. So I will continue to create and I think my husband and I want to share our home with others as it's quite large - we might want to share it with like-minded people for retreats , for writing or just being. It would be a place to live in beauty and restore the soul. Have "conversations with soul." That's all. No schedules. Only whatever people want to do when they want to do it. But...we are kind of waiting for a sign about this - as I am way beyond STRIVING toward it. If and when it unfolds, that's fine. We are here for the unfolding.
I arrive here in February not well - I don't even want to re-write it. But I had over 3 months of un-wellness. This STRIVING caught up with me. My body went on strike. For 4 weeks I've not managed a TO DO list for the first time in 40 years. I have been attending to my body and soul.
All this leads to the strangest part. As I've unwound - literally - after working for 60 years since I was 11 years old and began babysitting - I have more space in my body, in my imagination and, especially, in my heart for seeing what has been waiting for me to welcome. And it appears to be some grief. It's not punch me in the face grief. It's the grief of being alive and in a body that will all leave this earthly experience. It's a grief for that while living in the presence of so much beauty. And it has been such an incredible gift to begin to welcome it. To say, "Okay, take my hand. I trust you. Show me what you want me to see." I did a few (4) psychedelic journeys over the past 2+ years with MDMA and mushrooms - all private experiences, no group experiences - and they were so profound - they so deeply and beautifully changed our lives (my husband did them too.) and I have to say that meeting with grief feels like "the medicine" that lives in us. They say that "the medicine" will never give you anything you aren't ready for, aren't able to meet and integrate. That was true for me. And now it feels like grief is this medicine coming back to invite me to this beautiful human experience that I am now ready for.
So ...to specifically answer the question...what is my deepest desire? It truly is to come fully into who I am, to know and share my gifts, to continue to grow as a human being, to meet the mystery of life more deeply and joyfully, to laugh and dance more. Literally to laugh and dance more. And to nurture and deepen the most beautiful relationships with the people who mean the world to me for whatever time I have left in this precious life. And somehow this grief thing is helping me do this. So, there you go. Now, thank you so much for asking the question and helping us enter the space where the answers bubble up.
I so see the hard work you are doing here. You are such a seeker. It seems there is both the other side and always just where you are. It's a mystery. A beautiful mystery. With love. And thank you for anyone hearty enough to read this very long comment.
Alecia, you and I are kindred souls and I read your entire comment nodding my head in recognition as a sister striver who is ready at last to surrender her sword at age 65. You and I have discussed grief recently and from its larger perspective which Anne Boyd delves into so eloquently here for all us audacious women. I am so glad you’re slowing way down, finding that peace within. Right here beside you on that same quest.💗
Oh Alecia, this was all so beautiful and went right to my soul. Letting go of the striving is exactly what I have done, too. (Or tried to, but if I’m honest there is still some in there.) If you have had your work featured in national and international magazines, then you have certainly worked hard to get there. That level of recognition is amazing, but does it really matter in the face of life’s fleetingness and preciousness? And if you’ve been unwell, then that only compounds the recognition of how precious life and health are. Oh to be well and have deep conversations with someone you love and to live amongst beauty and make things that satisfy your soul! You are truly blessed at this stage in your life. I suppose you could say those are the things I most want as well. And like you I dream of one day being able to share them with people who make me think and feel and bring more life into my home. I love your idea of not striving for anything in particular but allowing it to unfold. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts here and going deep with us! And may healing and renewal come to you as we head into early summer. I bet it is gorgeous there in Tuscany just now.
Anne, I'm so happy this met you at the level of the soul / heart. My only comment other than maybe hoping to keep something like this going...not sure how... is this: you are younger than me and likely it is still completely appropriate to have some striving. I truly believe these phases of life call for different things - and when you are younger, it's okay to strive a bit. Unless you are getting the message it's burning you out. But I'm enough older that striving seems not appropriate. Kind of like trying to hold on to a sexy 30 or 40 year old body when you are 60 or 70. Not appropriate. I guess I'm just saying....don't be too hard on yourself for striving. But, you are clearly enough no matter what you do.... much love.
Thank you, Alecia! The level of striving I was at definitely led to burnout! Now as I develop new goals and desires, I want to keep the striving to a minimum, in the sense of directing myself fully at specific endpoints. I’m much more invested in the beginnings and middles now, and less worried about where things will end up. :)
I most want to live in the 5D perspective of peace and love and joy ... leaving behind judgments and beliefs about what is and isn't okay or right. I keep being called toward that state and yet I also keep getting triggered by old stories about people in my life. Everyday, I start again. :)
I want to thank you for sharing so openly your journey to healing. Your mention of Sandy Newbigging's book, Calm Mind, reminded me that I purchased it years ago and never finished it. I have some health stuff going on, so I started it again, and I have begun doing the meditation. It's helping with that reactivity. Thank you so much for being a catalyst to lead me back around to what can help me.
It's this kind of connection/help that makes me want to live in that accepting state. I believe that when we're in that state, we are led to where we're meant to be, the best next step.
I want good health and freedom. Never knowing how I'll feel when I wake up in the morning is so very hard...as I'm sure you understand. I'm trying to listen to my body and pace myself so that I don't crash, but my job has been incredibly stressful lately, and it's taken a toll. I can't quit the job because I need the income and the health insurance, so I feel stuck. Ah, America! :(
For years and wanted to write a novel and move to France. Honestly I did..! I’ve done both now and they have given more than I ever expected. France gave me friendships, adventure and a relaxed lifestyle but it also gave me a huge culture jolt and language difficulties. Writing my novel was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but the most rewarding.
I love it! I’m working on my novel and may not actually move to France, but I’m working on finding my new home. But as you say, a lot of challenges come with these dreams of ours as well.
This piece/peace comes after a really challenging week for me healthwise. So my short answer, after a week of sickness, bed rest, urgent care and an ER visit is good health. Without that, the rest is mute. I guess you could say the "peace" of good health, although that's an ever changing variable and never 100% attainable in reality. I would love to hear your further thoughts on this Anne as someone who suffers from autoimmune issues as well 💚
Hi Sharon--It seems a number of us are wishing mostly for good health. It's so hard when our bodies are not well to yearn for anything else. I'm sorry to hear about your difficult week. I will write more about my journey in search of better health, but I as I've been writing about, I am convinced that inner and outer health are related if not mutually interdependent. That doesn't at all mean that our physical struggles are somehow our fault, but simply that the mind is complex and deep and can affect us in ways that western medicine rarely acknowledges. Searching for inner peace can help us achieve the peace of good health, especially if we are dealing with chronic conditions, as I wrote about in my last post. More to come, I promise! And may this coming week be a better one for you! 🙏
Thank you, Anne! This makes sense in that my inner health has been in turmoil this past month due to not having a place to call truly "home" after I sold my house, bought a fixer upper, temporarily am staying in an acquaintance's converted garage and moving yet again to an Airbnb this week until my new home is complete. It's mentally and physically challenging which no doubt added to my week's events. So, yes, finding inner and outer peace at the moment is the ultimate Holy grail for me 💚
Oh, Sharon, I can so relate to this! My move to Manchester left me feeling rather homeless and sent me into a vertigo tailspin. I’m really working on finding the kind of inner stillness I can take with me anywhere. Because a “home” is still not on the horizon. I’m glad you have one that is readying itself for you. :)
I’ve yearning for a dog after losing mine (abruptly, to a pony kick) a year ago. My highest yearning is love - and lots of it. I’m blessed with man and kids and even new grandkids. But a dog is love made mobile - and profoundly, constantly reciprocal. We just found her, Tigger, today. Love on …
I’d like to be able to live where I want free from the controlling abuse of my ex husband. I’ve been trapped in LA for ten years due to him
I want a life situated in Scotland, writing books for women, reading, walking in nature, practicing aromatherapy, herbal medicine, and yoga and listening to my favorite music. That would be perfect! Perfect should be whatever is, but I can dream.
Anne, I so appreciated your inquiries & reflections here & have been thinking about it a lot. Like you, I am ‘working my way through layers of old unhealed wounds—detoxing, essentially, a life’s worth of toxic beliefs.’ That’s hard, exhausting but powerful and rewarding work. Like you as well, I am venturing on this path (which I’ve been on for some time) as a way to heal myself of the pain & lack of mobility that has resulted from a back injury in late Feb, diagnosed with a MRI with degenerative disc disease in various ways: slipped discs, spondylitis, stenosis of the spinal canal. What I have come to believe, and have written about in my own essay published today, is that while the pain is not in my head, the solution is not in my body. Do you know the mind-body work of Nicole Sachs, a student of Dr. John Sarno? I read her recent Mind Your Body book and am applying her approach. It will require going very deep into journaling about past and current stressors and my personality traits. But I feel prepared, and sense the answer for me is not in medication, injections, chiropractic treatment & certainly not surgery. As for my heart’s highest hope I love that question, and agree that the answer lies within us. My heart’s highest hope is to live in gratitude and peaceful acceptance of my life just as it is. That is also my biggest challenge. I am a huge seeker. A big dreamer. A non-stop do-er and fixer when anyone calls on me to help them. My dearest dream is to publish a novel (I am trying with my 3rd novel, while working on the 4th). Or publish an essay in a literary journal. But then I come back to my heart’s highest hope: to live in grateful acceptance of what is. Regardless of whether I publish, I am a writer. I am a creative. A woman, mother, friend, sister. I am loved and love in return. That’s really all that matters.💗
Thank you for this beautiful response Anne
So beautiful, Amy! Yes, those are the things that truly matter. In Little Women, when Beth is dying, she tells Jo that it’s love and family you can take with you, not success and ambition. Those things fall away when we are confronted with our mortality. Or with chronic pain and loss of quality of life. Our body is a barometer, Sandy Newbigging says. It is telling us what we need to work on. I have encountered Nicole Sachs’s work. I would like to read her new book. I hope you find lots of healing with her method!
This is such a great question, Anne--and I really appreciate your question, "What is the inner state or feeling that you think doing that thing or moving to that place will give you? Do you have to wait for it, or can you access it now?"
I'm glad that I'm answering this today, because yesterday, I had a pretty ideal day. I did serious work in my garden for a few hours, planting new plants and doing serious tidying up. (My garden is a small apartment balcony--I think I get more enjoyment per square foot than any other gardener.) I then sat and read a book of poetry, wrote, and drew. Last night, I watched PBS Masterpiece shows and wrote a letter to a friend.
My heart's desire is more time immersed in creative work (especially writing, but also music, drawing, gardening) and connection/community. Last weekend, I spent the night with a friend, and we spent the evening making Gelli prints. That was another ideal time--both connection and immersion in art.
Immersion comes up again and again for me--I love being immersed in an activity, being in a state of flow or connection.
I love this, Monica! Being in that flow state is incredible. Here’s to immersion!
What do I want? Less “work” (the work that pays the bills and provides health insurance) and more “work” on writing, creating, and helping/caring for my parents and their farm. I want that contented feeling that I sometimes have to be more consistent.
My heart's highest hope is for good health for my husband and myself as we age together. Dependency is a feeling that paralyses me, so I'm hoping for health and strength and freedom from dementia (the real fear). And then (because there's always a hierarchy of needs) I hope we can remain solvent enough to live our lives with interest and enjoyment and pay for good help if/when we need it; followed by the ability to cultivate younger friends so that all our acquaintances don't die off at once!
What do I (still) want from life? Morbid as it sounds, over the past year I’ve started to wonder how much time I have left. And I am driven by the notion of not waiting anymore, not putting anything off for later “when I am retired” or “when my son is out of the house” or even “when my spouse retires.”
I am only turning 60 this year, have chronic health conditions and a wonky immune system. My dearest wish is that my body stays healthy for a long time, and that I have the strength, energy, and mobility to be able to do what makes me happy.
Yes, I wish that as well. 55 here, but sometimes my body acts like it’s much older! There is so much healing we can do internally that helps the physical body as well. I’ll write more about that as my journey continues. Here’s to not waiting anymore!
Anne, this is a provocative topic. Thanks for the question. I have two desires at this point in my life. 1) I want to begun my cancer treatment and feel more confidence in what my body can do. Slowly, over the last year, I have had to slow down. I don’t like it! I am told that I will feel better once I start a BTK inhibitor. Can’t wait. 2) I recently finished a collection of short stories. I am now waiting for a new writing project to elicit passion in me. That’s when I have been happiest in my life. When I feel passionate about a particular subject or setting.
Didn’t proof read…sorry for any typos!
I didn't notice! (And sorry for any typos that creep into my posts. I can't seem to get them all out.)
I’m so glad to hear that you will have more energy once the treatment starts. That is good news! And passion for a new project is exactly what I wish for you. THat is what is grounding me and bringing me so much satisfaction right now as well.
I'm not sure anymore what I want and what I don't want and as a result I feel crippled by any choices I could make 😫 I hope it's a phase...
Hi Claire--I think we can also feel paralyzed by conflicting voices inside of us--like our head is telling us one thing and our heart another, or external opinions are in conflict with our own internal sense of things. Paralysis can also be a sign that our autonomic nervous system is in freeze. I wrote about this a few weeks ago. So some breathing and exercises to stimulate the vagus nerve could help you find a more peaceful state and perhaps some clarity. I hope so!
Thank you Anne
Claire, a friend once said to me: Choice is the affliction of our era. He was recognizing that if we are privileged, we have so many choices that it can paralyze us.
So very true. And also, I'm scared to regret them. Especially the one choice regarding to my partner 🥹
Hi Anne, I told you after your last post, which really touched me, that I needed some time to respond. And I never did. As you know, we get pulled into other emotional / intellectual / domestic whirlpools and can't quite find our way back or out. So, that's kind of what happened. But, Your post = the last one = really did send me off in a particular direction around grief, especially the healing nature of grief. And I've been writing and communicating with other Substack friends here on that topic. So this grief thing....I guess it relates to what I most want as I sit here at 71 years old . I have spent a lifetime STRIVING. Exactly what you described here - though I was never in the New York Times - I didn't ever have that level of recognition in my work as a designer. But I had appreciation for my work - I was always a bit "under the radar" and since I created that situation I have to assume that's the way I wanted it. I have been published in national and international magazines and that was nice at the time. But now, I'm so over that - it's a lot of work I don't have the interest in now, except for creating my own home here in Italy.
In fact, this home that we just moved into full time in February is a life long dream. We are out in the countryside, the most beautiful views of Tuscany. The freshest air, the most incredible food and simple, beautiful life. I told my therapist that I now have everything I have ever wanted. There is no STRIVING. I have things I want to do because creativity is my nature. Like breathing. I can't wake up and not want to create. Whether its a meal or a poem or a sketch or sewing something or just having an amazing conversation with my husband. So I will continue to create and I think my husband and I want to share our home with others as it's quite large - we might want to share it with like-minded people for retreats , for writing or just being. It would be a place to live in beauty and restore the soul. Have "conversations with soul." That's all. No schedules. Only whatever people want to do when they want to do it. But...we are kind of waiting for a sign about this - as I am way beyond STRIVING toward it. If and when it unfolds, that's fine. We are here for the unfolding.
I arrive here in February not well - I don't even want to re-write it. But I had over 3 months of un-wellness. This STRIVING caught up with me. My body went on strike. For 4 weeks I've not managed a TO DO list for the first time in 40 years. I have been attending to my body and soul.
All this leads to the strangest part. As I've unwound - literally - after working for 60 years since I was 11 years old and began babysitting - I have more space in my body, in my imagination and, especially, in my heart for seeing what has been waiting for me to welcome. And it appears to be some grief. It's not punch me in the face grief. It's the grief of being alive and in a body that will all leave this earthly experience. It's a grief for that while living in the presence of so much beauty. And it has been such an incredible gift to begin to welcome it. To say, "Okay, take my hand. I trust you. Show me what you want me to see." I did a few (4) psychedelic journeys over the past 2+ years with MDMA and mushrooms - all private experiences, no group experiences - and they were so profound - they so deeply and beautifully changed our lives (my husband did them too.) and I have to say that meeting with grief feels like "the medicine" that lives in us. They say that "the medicine" will never give you anything you aren't ready for, aren't able to meet and integrate. That was true for me. And now it feels like grief is this medicine coming back to invite me to this beautiful human experience that I am now ready for.
So ...to specifically answer the question...what is my deepest desire? It truly is to come fully into who I am, to know and share my gifts, to continue to grow as a human being, to meet the mystery of life more deeply and joyfully, to laugh and dance more. Literally to laugh and dance more. And to nurture and deepen the most beautiful relationships with the people who mean the world to me for whatever time I have left in this precious life. And somehow this grief thing is helping me do this. So, there you go. Now, thank you so much for asking the question and helping us enter the space where the answers bubble up.
I so see the hard work you are doing here. You are such a seeker. It seems there is both the other side and always just where you are. It's a mystery. A beautiful mystery. With love. And thank you for anyone hearty enough to read this very long comment.
Alecia, you and I are kindred souls and I read your entire comment nodding my head in recognition as a sister striver who is ready at last to surrender her sword at age 65. You and I have discussed grief recently and from its larger perspective which Anne Boyd delves into so eloquently here for all us audacious women. I am so glad you’re slowing way down, finding that peace within. Right here beside you on that same quest.💗
Thank you, Amy. I have really felt that kindred spirit recently, too. Thanks for your sweet note here. Don't we love ALL THINGS ANNE?
Oh Alecia, this was all so beautiful and went right to my soul. Letting go of the striving is exactly what I have done, too. (Or tried to, but if I’m honest there is still some in there.) If you have had your work featured in national and international magazines, then you have certainly worked hard to get there. That level of recognition is amazing, but does it really matter in the face of life’s fleetingness and preciousness? And if you’ve been unwell, then that only compounds the recognition of how precious life and health are. Oh to be well and have deep conversations with someone you love and to live amongst beauty and make things that satisfy your soul! You are truly blessed at this stage in your life. I suppose you could say those are the things I most want as well. And like you I dream of one day being able to share them with people who make me think and feel and bring more life into my home. I love your idea of not striving for anything in particular but allowing it to unfold. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts here and going deep with us! And may healing and renewal come to you as we head into early summer. I bet it is gorgeous there in Tuscany just now.
Anne, I'm so happy this met you at the level of the soul / heart. My only comment other than maybe hoping to keep something like this going...not sure how... is this: you are younger than me and likely it is still completely appropriate to have some striving. I truly believe these phases of life call for different things - and when you are younger, it's okay to strive a bit. Unless you are getting the message it's burning you out. But I'm enough older that striving seems not appropriate. Kind of like trying to hold on to a sexy 30 or 40 year old body when you are 60 or 70. Not appropriate. I guess I'm just saying....don't be too hard on yourself for striving. But, you are clearly enough no matter what you do.... much love.
Thank you, Alecia! The level of striving I was at definitely led to burnout! Now as I develop new goals and desires, I want to keep the striving to a minimum, in the sense of directing myself fully at specific endpoints. I’m much more invested in the beginnings and middles now, and less worried about where things will end up. :)
Love this perspective Anne—focusing on beginnings and middles rather than endings.
BRAVA to all of us on this one!
I am content. I am also 90.
Life is a process. Then you die.
Be kind to yourselves.
You are always an inspiration to me, Miki! 💖
I most want to live in the 5D perspective of peace and love and joy ... leaving behind judgments and beliefs about what is and isn't okay or right. I keep being called toward that state and yet I also keep getting triggered by old stories about people in my life. Everyday, I start again. :)
I want to thank you for sharing so openly your journey to healing. Your mention of Sandy Newbigging's book, Calm Mind, reminded me that I purchased it years ago and never finished it. I have some health stuff going on, so I started it again, and I have begun doing the meditation. It's helping with that reactivity. Thank you so much for being a catalyst to lead me back around to what can help me.
It's this kind of connection/help that makes me want to live in that accepting state. I believe that when we're in that state, we are led to where we're meant to be, the best next step.
Yes, being open has led me to so much joy and healing! I’m so glad that you found your way back to Calm Mind and that it is helping you!
I want good health and freedom. Never knowing how I'll feel when I wake up in the morning is so very hard...as I'm sure you understand. I'm trying to listen to my body and pace myself so that I don't crash, but my job has been incredibly stressful lately, and it's taken a toll. I can't quit the job because I need the income and the health insurance, so I feel stuck. Ah, America! :(
Yes, Melissa, I do know what that is like. I’m sorry to hear that your job has been so stressful lately. I hope the load lightens up soon!
For years and wanted to write a novel and move to France. Honestly I did..! I’ve done both now and they have given more than I ever expected. France gave me friendships, adventure and a relaxed lifestyle but it also gave me a huge culture jolt and language difficulties. Writing my novel was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but the most rewarding.
I love it! I’m working on my novel and may not actually move to France, but I’m working on finding my new home. But as you say, a lot of challenges come with these dreams of ours as well.
This piece/peace comes after a really challenging week for me healthwise. So my short answer, after a week of sickness, bed rest, urgent care and an ER visit is good health. Without that, the rest is mute. I guess you could say the "peace" of good health, although that's an ever changing variable and never 100% attainable in reality. I would love to hear your further thoughts on this Anne as someone who suffers from autoimmune issues as well 💚
Hi Sharon--It seems a number of us are wishing mostly for good health. It's so hard when our bodies are not well to yearn for anything else. I'm sorry to hear about your difficult week. I will write more about my journey in search of better health, but I as I've been writing about, I am convinced that inner and outer health are related if not mutually interdependent. That doesn't at all mean that our physical struggles are somehow our fault, but simply that the mind is complex and deep and can affect us in ways that western medicine rarely acknowledges. Searching for inner peace can help us achieve the peace of good health, especially if we are dealing with chronic conditions, as I wrote about in my last post. More to come, I promise! And may this coming week be a better one for you! 🙏
Thank you, Anne! This makes sense in that my inner health has been in turmoil this past month due to not having a place to call truly "home" after I sold my house, bought a fixer upper, temporarily am staying in an acquaintance's converted garage and moving yet again to an Airbnb this week until my new home is complete. It's mentally and physically challenging which no doubt added to my week's events. So, yes, finding inner and outer peace at the moment is the ultimate Holy grail for me 💚
Oh, Sharon, I can so relate to this! My move to Manchester left me feeling rather homeless and sent me into a vertigo tailspin. I’m really working on finding the kind of inner stillness I can take with me anywhere. Because a “home” is still not on the horizon. I’m glad you have one that is readying itself for you. :)
As someone who struggles with chronic illness, I'm in absolute agreement with you. It's so hard. Sending you strength.