"Life doesn't have to be like this!" Yes! I really enjoyed your read. I'm working on a project based on a woman I met years ago in the Virgin Islands. Her free spirit and look of contentment remain etched in my memory all these years later. It was as if she knew the secret of life. Now I'm on my own adventures, working to unearth my own secrets.
Ah! So many expanders! One book that is truly wonderful that I recently read is The Women I Think About at Night: Travelling the Paths of my Heroes by Mia Kankimäki. Talk about a brilliant book about some amazing women who are less well known. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50892250-the-women-i-think-about-at-night
Love this post. Beryl Markham's West With The Night was a book that made me think I could live an adventurous life and not worry about what others thought. She was definitely an "Audacious woman."
Anne - reading this was a bit eerie because 'Little Women' is a book that defined me as a child. I had multiple editions, including an incredible large tome that had gold leaf pages and lush illustrations. I probably read this book 100 times before I was 15! I still read it every few years and it always delivers.
I love that you suggested these two expanders in this substack and also used the specific term "expanders". I created a list of expanders in my journal several years ago specifically with the criteria being people [mostly women] who show me what is possible and inspire action. Finally, I did not know Kay Boyle but I am now fascinated and can't wait to dive into more about her. Thank you!!
Eat Pray Love definitely made a huge impression on le too. Also her novel 'the signature if all things' about a scientist woman in the 18th century is a masterpiece.
The first dangerous woman book which made me think and dare taking leaps in my life is 'Women who run with the wolves' by dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes. She is a Jungian psychotherapist and storyteller. This book is a must-have for all women about the 'wild woman's in us and the woman archetype in ancient tales. I offered it to many women.
I spent the weekend in Virginia, looking at apartments and checking out the town that will become my new home later this year. And honestly, I don't know if I could have made that leap without reading your blog, Anne. YOU have influenced me to start living the life that I want to live! Thank you for this amazing community you've built, and for helping so many of us to pursue our passions. I also have found inspiration with May Sarton's "Journal of a Solitude" and Maggie Smith's "You Could Make This Place Beautiful."
Kay Boyle sounds absolutely fascinating. No wonder you wanted to write a book about her life!
I’m so glad, Melissa!! It’s wonderful to see you trying new things and experimenting and moving in the direction of your dreams!! I hope you found a great new apartment or will soon.
Wowsers! Kay Boyle, giving it all to passion. Many loves, many steps of the ledge. Just like Elizabeth, who is such an inspiration, she lives like she 100% means it.
Thanks for this enthusiastic view of Gilbert and Boyle. I have never really encountered either but they are very worth knowing. The question of how one knows if you have fully lived is a great one. At 73 I wrestle with this regularly! Now with a grandchild I have moved my thinking further from adventure and more toward family. I think my adventures will henceforth be small and near home. Great thinking though. I can also live vicariously through my extensive reading.
Theresa Hak Kyung Cha was deeply influential for me. A Korean-American writer and artist, living in San Francisco in the late 60s and 70s. When I found her book Dictée, during my MA studies - its visceral rhythms were like a meditation to me. I studied her practice for my PhD, and have a quotation tattooed on my arm. She explored the distance of exile and separation, and the infinite connection that words create between people.
Loved this post. So nourishing to read deeply with passion. Thank you
To answer your question - Kate Chopin and Maya Angelou and Jane Austen made me think and grow and believe in myself. Also, Anne Lamott for being unapologetically genuine, which I had no idea was possible for women discussing spirituality.
Of course, I am now interested in Elizabeth Gilbert and Kay Boyle! Thanks for sharing. I see a trip to the library in my immediate future.
Most of my life I followed rules and played by the book. I chose the safer route. Only one time I shot out of the gate and fell in love with a woman. That changed my life. I love the word expanders for women. I glom onto that word. I want to paste it all over me. That young lover, just by being herself presented for me an alternative. I no longer had to do what the man, priest, husband, doctor said.
I could think, voice my opinions, and live as queen in my sanctuary. (A process that took forty years.)
There are other women in my life that were expanders for me. Now I have Ellen. When I first met her, I told her in an interview how I’d fit into the school as a colleague, and what I could offer. I sought her out as a friend and for twenty-five years we have been meeting with three other women for an evening, or weekend of bliss and encouragement. We connect spiritually and always know the whereabouts of each other. She is an expander, and I learn new vocabulary of being.
No doubt, reinvention requires courage and can deliver on the promise of fulfillment. However, as exemplified by your two subjects, does it not seem at least somewhat evident that change for them was more an impulsive escape than successful pursuit of happiness? Easy enough to romanticize infidelity and divorce, but the grass is not always greener and if one believes deep human connection is the path to happiness, one must put in the work to deepen that connection, not bail when it becomes a struggle. Still, the allure of abandoning the baggage and starting fresh always beckons and may be the call worth heeding for some.
My list includes several already mentioned… Elizabeth Gilbert, Cheryl Strayed, and Anne Lamott, and also Glennon Doyle—I loved Untamed. Also on my list of expanders are two who are a bit different than where other responses have gone. One is Taylor Swift. I love her music, but especially her daring in re-recording all of that music so she could have the rights to what she created. And I’ve recently added McKenzie Scott to my list of expanders. I love how she’s turning philanthropy on its head and giving away billions of dollars in a way that trusts the people doing good work to spend the money in ways they know will make a difference, rather than requiring them to spend their limited time and effort on documenting and proving the impact of the funds.
"Life doesn't have to be like this!" Yes! I really enjoyed your read. I'm working on a project based on a woman I met years ago in the Virgin Islands. Her free spirit and look of contentment remain etched in my memory all these years later. It was as if she knew the secret of life. Now I'm on my own adventures, working to unearth my own secrets.
Ah! So many expanders! One book that is truly wonderful that I recently read is The Women I Think About at Night: Travelling the Paths of my Heroes by Mia Kankimäki. Talk about a brilliant book about some amazing women who are less well known. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50892250-the-women-i-think-about-at-night
Love this post. Beryl Markham's West With The Night was a book that made me think I could live an adventurous life and not worry about what others thought. She was definitely an "Audacious woman."
Anne - reading this was a bit eerie because 'Little Women' is a book that defined me as a child. I had multiple editions, including an incredible large tome that had gold leaf pages and lush illustrations. I probably read this book 100 times before I was 15! I still read it every few years and it always delivers.
I love that you suggested these two expanders in this substack and also used the specific term "expanders". I created a list of expanders in my journal several years ago specifically with the criteria being people [mostly women] who show me what is possible and inspire action. Finally, I did not know Kay Boyle but I am now fascinated and can't wait to dive into more about her. Thank you!!
Enjoy! I’ve been on the lookout for “expanders” all my life as well but didn’t realize it.
Eat Pray Love definitely made a huge impression on le too. Also her novel 'the signature if all things' about a scientist woman in the 18th century is a masterpiece.
The first dangerous woman book which made me think and dare taking leaps in my life is 'Women who run with the wolves' by dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes. She is a Jungian psychotherapist and storyteller. This book is a must-have for all women about the 'wild woman's in us and the woman archetype in ancient tales. I offered it to many women.
I truly enjoyed this substack and the idea of "expanders." Thank you!
I spent the weekend in Virginia, looking at apartments and checking out the town that will become my new home later this year. And honestly, I don't know if I could have made that leap without reading your blog, Anne. YOU have influenced me to start living the life that I want to live! Thank you for this amazing community you've built, and for helping so many of us to pursue our passions. I also have found inspiration with May Sarton's "Journal of a Solitude" and Maggie Smith's "You Could Make This Place Beautiful."
Kay Boyle sounds absolutely fascinating. No wonder you wanted to write a book about her life!
I’m so glad, Melissa!! It’s wonderful to see you trying new things and experimenting and moving in the direction of your dreams!! I hope you found a great new apartment or will soon.
Thank you!!!
Wowsers! Kay Boyle, giving it all to passion. Many loves, many steps of the ledge. Just like Elizabeth, who is such an inspiration, she lives like she 100% means it.
Thanks for this enthusiastic view of Gilbert and Boyle. I have never really encountered either but they are very worth knowing. The question of how one knows if you have fully lived is a great one. At 73 I wrestle with this regularly! Now with a grandchild I have moved my thinking further from adventure and more toward family. I think my adventures will henceforth be small and near home. Great thinking though. I can also live vicariously through my extensive reading.
This was fabulous. Don’t really know anything about either of these amazing women. Going now to subscribe to Elizabeth’s Substack!
Theresa Hak Kyung Cha was deeply influential for me. A Korean-American writer and artist, living in San Francisco in the late 60s and 70s. When I found her book Dictée, during my MA studies - its visceral rhythms were like a meditation to me. I studied her practice for my PhD, and have a quotation tattooed on my arm. She explored the distance of exile and separation, and the infinite connection that words create between people.
Loved this post. So nourishing to read deeply with passion. Thank you
I’m so glad it spoke to you and promoted you to remember a remarkable woman whose influence on you sounds profound. Thank you for sharing her with us!
Ecclesiastes said it early: "To every thing there is a season, and a purpose under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die . . . "
Our genius is to recognize when to move on dreams that have been seeded. Commitments can take precedence until our time is right.
Sometimes a writer, sometimes a stranger crosses our path briefly and delivers a neon message, and everything falls into place.
You acted! Everything else follows.
Thank you, Miki! You know you are one of my real-life expanders!!! 💖
To answer your question - Kate Chopin and Maya Angelou and Jane Austen made me think and grow and believe in myself. Also, Anne Lamott for being unapologetically genuine, which I had no idea was possible for women discussing spirituality.
Of course, I am now interested in Elizabeth Gilbert and Kay Boyle! Thanks for sharing. I see a trip to the library in my immediate future.
I hope you enjoy them! For me, they came along at the right time.
Most of my life I followed rules and played by the book. I chose the safer route. Only one time I shot out of the gate and fell in love with a woman. That changed my life. I love the word expanders for women. I glom onto that word. I want to paste it all over me. That young lover, just by being herself presented for me an alternative. I no longer had to do what the man, priest, husband, doctor said.
I could think, voice my opinions, and live as queen in my sanctuary. (A process that took forty years.)
There are other women in my life that were expanders for me. Now I have Ellen. When I first met her, I told her in an interview how I’d fit into the school as a colleague, and what I could offer. I sought her out as a friend and for twenty-five years we have been meeting with three other women for an evening, or weekend of bliss and encouragement. We connect spiritually and always know the whereabouts of each other. She is an expander, and I learn new vocabulary of being.
This is lovely, Mary Beth! And I love that last phrase, new vocabulary of being! Beautiful!
No doubt, reinvention requires courage and can deliver on the promise of fulfillment. However, as exemplified by your two subjects, does it not seem at least somewhat evident that change for them was more an impulsive escape than successful pursuit of happiness? Easy enough to romanticize infidelity and divorce, but the grass is not always greener and if one believes deep human connection is the path to happiness, one must put in the work to deepen that connection, not bail when it becomes a struggle. Still, the allure of abandoning the baggage and starting fresh always beckons and may be the call worth heeding for some.
My list includes several already mentioned… Elizabeth Gilbert, Cheryl Strayed, and Anne Lamott, and also Glennon Doyle—I loved Untamed. Also on my list of expanders are two who are a bit different than where other responses have gone. One is Taylor Swift. I love her music, but especially her daring in re-recording all of that music so she could have the rights to what she created. And I’ve recently added McKenzie Scott to my list of expanders. I love how she’s turning philanthropy on its head and giving away billions of dollars in a way that trusts the people doing good work to spend the money in ways they know will make a difference, rather than requiring them to spend their limited time and effort on documenting and proving the impact of the funds.
Great list, Suzanne! Such hugely inspirational women!