“She gave my life ballast and balance, and I feel awfully off-kilter now without her.”
This resonates so much, my daughter is away for a short time just now but the emptiness left in her wake is making me think ahead to when she’s flown the nest. I’m considering what life will look feel and look like, with my art and writing, and wondering where I’ll settle. A thought provoking read, thank you so much for sharing.
When I have time to write, I can’t seem to settle to it. When I’m busy doing other ppls work I crave time to flesh out the ideas raining down upon me. The idea of comfort and balance is a problem. If i were desperate and the only way to feed myself was to write, could I? If i were trapped somewhere alone with only scraps of paper and a pencil stub, could I?
I love how you tied in your own reflections with the writings of other women artists! I know I need quiet, time, and a peaceful place to do my making. And what a pleasure it is when you have those things. I know my readers will resonate with what you've written, so I've shared your work in my Sunday post.
As someone who does live in a cottage, drinking tea and writing in the morning (or all day sometimes), I too struggle with the title 'writer'. Maybe I feel it is one that must be earned, and my dream is to feel I have. And I believe that comes with balance; all those things you mentioned, and listening to your own inner wisdom letting you know moment by moment which you need, because when I ignore these, my writing is empty. Beautiful post, thank you!
I loved this post so much. As someone who has also abandoned her life for stints in south Italy, the Outer Hebrides and rural Ireland, your words really spoke to me. I wrote a chapter many moons ago about Sylvia Plath needing solitude - geographical, emotional and familial to tap into her genius. As well as all of her fears and concerns about having family and a writing life - pre-empting the second-wave feminist thinking. I often wonder if she had lived long enough to see our cultures change and female companionship bursting to the fore in the late 1960s/1970s (as opposed to being through devotional letters and in domestic spheres), what would she have achieved? Though Plath in a commune is perhaps a step too far! Too WASPy for that :)
such a beautiful post, I am very new to writing but exploring this passion of mine feels like I am coming home. I think for me a balance of companionship, life experience and solitude brings out my creativity. I have written my best pieces about things that I have felt the deepest about ( no surprise) but I feel like to much solitude with lack of life experiences would lead to writers block
I do reasonate with you as I crave companionship more and more for an enriching life and creative writing. It just fills you with the enthusiasm that is not contemplated by the family or maybe your financial stability, although the latter us very necessary but so does a thriving community of writers around me.
It's delightful to have real - deep - thought provoking conversations. It's also delightful to sit quietly in a room with someone who gets you, not because there's nothing to talk about, but because you are enjoying being, creating, or enjoying someone else's creation.
I’ve noted here before how much I’ve been thinking about “Brigadoon experiences” this summer (so much so that I made a zine about it that I sent to friends (with the hope that some of them might want to create one in the near future). I’ve really enjoyed the short-term, focused, common purpose, retreat-experiences that I’ve had—one thing that academia can be good at. The annual Dickens Universe in Santa Cruz is a good example, as is the month-long NEH seminar on Flannery O’Connor that I attended. They were in a geographically different place, with dorm accommodations that were comfortable and communal, but simple. The change of scenery and group of people with different backgrounds but a common interest led to some great collaborations and inspiration for individual work.
I don’t personally think I could live like this permanently, but I would like to find more opportunities to participate in them—they act as a good jumpstart for creativity.
I’ve been writing my whole life, as an only child, mainly for catharsis, coping, releasing, for help in understanding myself, others (mainly my chaotic mom), and the world. I’m now going over all these poems in therapy that are pretty dark but really good and made them into a book. Been adding illustrations. Now that I’m an emerging therapist, I want to see if I can have it be a memoir + guidebook for eliciting your own poems, journaling, etc. I don’t plan on having kids (I’m 43) so I have more time in that regard. My fiancé and I split everything in half financially which helps, LA is expensive. I am a full-time student with a declutter business that fluctuates and finding time consistently can be challenging. But I’m super driven and since bringing the book into therapy, to process, I find I avoid it a lot less, and can’t wait to get it done and out there asap. :)
Very honest and great post.❤️I think a good balance of both having companionship - it doesn't have to come from a partner - and appropriate, needed level of solitude is perfect. In my case, they are both functional in feeding, enriching my creative pursuits.
So important to get what we need from children, teens and all the rest. Too much focus on another person fulfilling all that. The pendulum is swinging back to balance once again. We need to keep saying how grateful we are in any situation. I really try to spread this gospel everywhere I go. You can be content no matter. Our choice.💐
Thought provoking read. My writing started in ernest on the cusp of being an empty nester. I need both! Solitude to write but human connection and relationships to fill my cup and inspire the writing. Not an either or.
“She gave my life ballast and balance, and I feel awfully off-kilter now without her.”
This resonates so much, my daughter is away for a short time just now but the emptiness left in her wake is making me think ahead to when she’s flown the nest. I’m considering what life will look feel and look like, with my art and writing, and wondering where I’ll settle. A thought provoking read, thank you so much for sharing.
They leave a big hole behind, but there is so much inside of us that can fill it, if we look there instead of outside of ourselves.
When I have time to write, I can’t seem to settle to it. When I’m busy doing other ppls work I crave time to flesh out the ideas raining down upon me. The idea of comfort and balance is a problem. If i were desperate and the only way to feed myself was to write, could I? If i were trapped somewhere alone with only scraps of paper and a pencil stub, could I?
I love how you tied in your own reflections with the writings of other women artists! I know I need quiet, time, and a peaceful place to do my making. And what a pleasure it is when you have those things. I know my readers will resonate with what you've written, so I've shared your work in my Sunday post.
Thank you, Jodie! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post!
As someone who does live in a cottage, drinking tea and writing in the morning (or all day sometimes), I too struggle with the title 'writer'. Maybe I feel it is one that must be earned, and my dream is to feel I have. And I believe that comes with balance; all those things you mentioned, and listening to your own inner wisdom letting you know moment by moment which you need, because when I ignore these, my writing is empty. Beautiful post, thank you!
And the answer is: mental stillness and deep reflection. :)
This question is the hardest one to answer I think
I loved this post so much. As someone who has also abandoned her life for stints in south Italy, the Outer Hebrides and rural Ireland, your words really spoke to me. I wrote a chapter many moons ago about Sylvia Plath needing solitude - geographical, emotional and familial to tap into her genius. As well as all of her fears and concerns about having family and a writing life - pre-empting the second-wave feminist thinking. I often wonder if she had lived long enough to see our cultures change and female companionship bursting to the fore in the late 1960s/1970s (as opposed to being through devotional letters and in domestic spheres), what would she have achieved? Though Plath in a commune is perhaps a step too far! Too WASPy for that :)
Thank you, Maeve. I’m glad you enjoyed it! Your life sounds wonderful, divided between such beautiful places!
such a beautiful post, I am very new to writing but exploring this passion of mine feels like I am coming home. I think for me a balance of companionship, life experience and solitude brings out my creativity. I have written my best pieces about things that I have felt the deepest about ( no surprise) but I feel like to much solitude with lack of life experiences would lead to writers block
I do reasonate with you as I crave companionship more and more for an enriching life and creative writing. It just fills you with the enthusiasm that is not contemplated by the family or maybe your financial stability, although the latter us very necessary but so does a thriving community of writers around me.
It's delightful to have real - deep - thought provoking conversations. It's also delightful to sit quietly in a room with someone who gets you, not because there's nothing to talk about, but because you are enjoying being, creating, or enjoying someone else's creation.
I’ve noted here before how much I’ve been thinking about “Brigadoon experiences” this summer (so much so that I made a zine about it that I sent to friends (with the hope that some of them might want to create one in the near future). I’ve really enjoyed the short-term, focused, common purpose, retreat-experiences that I’ve had—one thing that academia can be good at. The annual Dickens Universe in Santa Cruz is a good example, as is the month-long NEH seminar on Flannery O’Connor that I attended. They were in a geographically different place, with dorm accommodations that were comfortable and communal, but simple. The change of scenery and group of people with different backgrounds but a common interest led to some great collaborations and inspiration for individual work.
I don’t personally think I could live like this permanently, but I would like to find more opportunities to participate in them—they act as a good jumpstart for creativity.
That’s a nice idea, to jump into these retreats and pop-up communities and then go back to the desk and create. I love it!
For a second i thought someone has throughly understood my journal. It’s been 4 days i am constantly thinking about a support system
I’ve been writing my whole life, as an only child, mainly for catharsis, coping, releasing, for help in understanding myself, others (mainly my chaotic mom), and the world. I’m now going over all these poems in therapy that are pretty dark but really good and made them into a book. Been adding illustrations. Now that I’m an emerging therapist, I want to see if I can have it be a memoir + guidebook for eliciting your own poems, journaling, etc. I don’t plan on having kids (I’m 43) so I have more time in that regard. My fiancé and I split everything in half financially which helps, LA is expensive. I am a full-time student with a declutter business that fluctuates and finding time consistently can be challenging. But I’m super driven and since bringing the book into therapy, to process, I find I avoid it a lot less, and can’t wait to get it done and out there asap. :)
Thank you so so much for this window of deep love, connection and inquiry.
Very honest and great post.❤️I think a good balance of both having companionship - it doesn't have to come from a partner - and appropriate, needed level of solitude is perfect. In my case, they are both functional in feeding, enriching my creative pursuits.
So important to get what we need from children, teens and all the rest. Too much focus on another person fulfilling all that. The pendulum is swinging back to balance once again. We need to keep saying how grateful we are in any situation. I really try to spread this gospel everywhere I go. You can be content no matter. Our choice.💐
I live a 70/30 life of solitude and projects, creativity, then go out to social events. It works for me.
Thought provoking read. My writing started in ernest on the cusp of being an empty nester. I need both! Solitude to write but human connection and relationships to fill my cup and inspire the writing. Not an either or.