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Maria Hanley's avatar

Our bodies will scream at us if we don't heed their signals. Well done on listening and honoring your needs. Welcome back❤️

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Thank you, Maria!

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Amy Brown's avatar

Anne, so glad to hear you are at last finding that peace, and I can only imagine how debilitating those vertigo attacks must be. So glad you have found so many healing modalities to help you. I have Martha Beck’s Beyond Anxiety on my shelf for my next read. And I am a huge fan of David Whyte; he always gets me to see myself and humanity in an illuminating and compassionate light. I have been finding some success with the Mind-Body Medicine approach of Nicole Sachs, a psychotherapist who trained with Dr John Sarno, the first to find that much low back pain (as has developed for me suddenly in the last 3 months) is due to repressed emotions, especially anger. Using Nicole’s Journal Speak approach after reading her book Mind Your Body has been a cathartic experience and I think the theory does seem to apply to me. None of the painkillers or chiro treatment or PT have helped as much as releasing past and present stressors through 20 mins daily of flow writing about the specific stressful memory or circumstance. Followed by 10 mins of meditation, I find my long aversion/fear of expressing anger having its expression through my inner child who finally has permission to throw a tantrum. The responsible oldest sibling, I was never ‘allowed’ anger or tantrums growing up. It wasn’t what was expected of me as a ‘good role model.’ So appreciate you sharing your journey!

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Anne Boyd's avatar

That is so wonderful, Amy!! I’m so happy you’re finding relief with Nicole Sachs’s method. She is great and helps so many people!! I did so much PT and medication as well and chiropractic work as well when I still lived in New Orleans. Any relief was always temporary.

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Amy Brown's avatar

Thanks Anne 💗

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Monica Brady's avatar

Anne, the journey continues, thanks for letting us know how you are!

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Anne Boyd's avatar

I hope you are also doing well, Monica!

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Gaby Hill's avatar

Hey Ann, thank you for this thoughtful and thought provoking read. I absolutely love your metaphor about the space where PEACE lives and how it was there all along but had become too cluttered like an abandoned storage locker and needed to be cleared out.

As a therapist, I’m a big fan of Internal Family Systems and the belief that we come into this world whole and then accumulate all this ‘clutter’ until we start to slowly release and let go of all the stuff that kept us from seeing our wholeness. This is something I’m currently discovering. Peace was there all the time. What a wonderful realization! 🤗

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Anne Boyd's avatar

YES! I love IFS as well. It is so helpful to think of a part of me having the meltdown that led to my vertigo and to show her compassion. That was a big shift for me.

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Julie Christine Johnson's avatar

It's so good to hear from you, dearest Anne, and to know that you are finding solace in the constant journey forward and through. Thank you for sharing the practices and guides that have brought you deeper into healing, and for writing so gracefully of your paths.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Thank you, Julie! I hope you are also doing well! ❤️

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Shifra Clara Wasserstein's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing 🙏

This is so helpful

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Sherryn Adair's avatar

Our journeys are nearly parallel, my friend, except I never left the US (though I briefly left my town for the opposite coast, but came back). ALL of this, 3 years post breakup: "So many times I’ve thought, I should be whole again by now, I should have my shit together. I should be settled somewhere—in a new home, a new career, a new relationship." Only in the last few days did I suddenly see the difference between the trauma path and the true path, that separating out of voices. I, too, am at a point of EVERYTHING breaking apart...and realizing, whoa!, there *I* am in all of my human quirkiness and wonder. This post is truly what I call a "you are where you are supposed to be" experience, fellow journeyers bumping into each other along the spiritual path, the kind of moment when you know the Universe has your back. Namaste! and many, many thanks for sharing yourself with us. 🙏🏻

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Anne Boyd's avatar

So beautiful! Thank you, Sherryn! And much love to you as you navigate your true path!!

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Leslie Senevey's avatar

Loops and spirals may take longer to navigate than a straight line, but boy are they pretty and graceful and interesting to see.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Ha! I love this!

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Yasmin Chopin's avatar

You write so eloquently about your struggle, Anne. Your words ring true for many as life is never an easy road. Keep looking after yourself. If your posts are occasional rather than frequent, that is OK. They will be welcomed with open arms, as you are.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Thank you, Yasmin!! 🙏🙏🙏

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Anna Judd's avatar

It's funny, the expectation that one day we will have it all figured out. It's especially hilarious when we *think* we finally unlocked the magic code , and then are subsequently handed yet another challenge that seems to attack all of our softest places. And we rise to it, again. So the cycle goes. Rinse, repeat. Over and over. This is the way of the seeker, which apparently you are. I salute you.

I respect the thoughtfulness of your journey. Even in the way you write, I can tell you have become the constant gardener of your mind.

What a treasure this is.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Thank you, Anna! I like that phrase: gardener of your mind!

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Monica Miller's avatar

Anne, I'm so glad to read this--thank you for sharing all of this with us! I especially appreciate your sharing this video. I tried it, and just using these exercises in this video, I feel some anxiety abate.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Yay! I'm so glad, Monica!

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Stacy Holden's avatar

"grueling slog through the detritus of my psyche" would be a great title for something. Glad you are settling into peace, and looking forward to hearing more as you process.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Thank you, Stacy! I hope you are doing well!

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Etta Madden's avatar

Thank you for sharing your insights to the journey, Anne. It’s great to have advice based on your experiences. ❤️❤️❤️

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A.M. Haus's avatar

More people need to speak about things not always being peaches and cream just because they changed their location. I like to know their trials and errors, happiness along with frustration or anything else.. because that is life. While one person may need therapy or healing, another may only need motivation and support to move forward. I have not met one person whose life after any move (local or international) instantly became non-challenged. It takes work. Eat the pasta!

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Anne Boyd's avatar

Yes, I'm astonished at how many people assume my life is wonderful, full stop. Transition is hard, limbo is hard, not having a home is hard. But I also wouldn't go back to life as it was. I'm in a better place, even if I haven't exactly landed any place specific yet.

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Beverly Rude's avatar

I'm happy you've found releif. I hope it continues. 🤗

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Rona Maynard's avatar

I love the storage locker metaphor and identify with it. And I should mention that while you were struggling, your life seemed full of promise and excitement to this reader. It is possible to envy someone who only appears to be flowering, as Judith Jones envied Sylvia Plath at a terrible time in Plath’s brief life.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

There is much I’ve been thankful for, but five months of a dysregulated nervous system and sometimes daily vertigo attacks pretty much did me in. But they have brought their own gifts.

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